Content:
- Is It So Bad When Relationships Fail?
- Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail
- What You Can Learn for the Future After a Relationship Fails
- Unlimited Opportunities Are Before You
A relationship fails if the paths of two people diverge due to the divorce, or death of one of the partners — one way or another, they come to an end. People in love are afraid of emotions associated with separation and subsequent loneliness. When we start a new romance, we think about anything but a breakup. The end of a relationship is also humiliating because society encourages lifelong unions and stigmatizes everything else.
People swear unconditional love (or at least dream of it), trying to dispel anxiety and harness the safety that they lacked in childhood. But unforeseen circumstances or even cheating in relationships make them change their minds, and separation no longer seems so intimidating. What lessons should you learn when relationships fail and how to go ahead?
Is It So Bad When Relationships Fail?
If you realize that the relationship has no future, then the correct way out is to stop it. And there is nothing awful about it because we all make mistakes and never know whether it is the right person until we try. How to end a relationship that you're already used to? Tearing off a part of life from yourself, completely changing its course, and abandoning what has surrounded you for a long time is not an easy step. Besides, not everyone will want to deprive themselves of a close person even if the love has gone long ago. Therefore, people continue to languish in a casual relationship making them or their partner suffer instead of putting an end to it. But continuing this game of pretending is not the right choice either.
Most importantly, your decision to end a relationship must be discussed in person and not by phone, or in a letter. Show respect for the person with whom you were together, with whom you once felt good. Try to do without tantrums, accusations, scandals. The other person is not to blame that you became bored, uninteresting, or have passed feelings. Men dream of hot girls dating, but when love is gone, they are afraid to deal with the consequences. Before you take this step, talk with a friend, parents, or another person you trust. Do not ask for advice, report your decision, and justify it. Just listen to what they say about it. You may have decided to break up impulsively, not wanting to. You are not obliged to change the decision if it seems wrong to your interlocutor. But to hear another opinion on it will not be superfluous.
At the same time, you should not try to break up immediately. The desire to do everything quickly can be regarded by the partner as if you do not care. If you don't want to hurt a person, try to "smooth out the sharp corners" as much as possible. Do not give a reason to think that someone else appeared in your life. But do not beat around the bush: the longer you put it off, the more difficult it is to break off the ends. There is nothing terrible about ending a love story. There is no unique explanation to the question, "Why do most relationships fail?" This person is just not for you.
Common Reasons Why Relationships Fail
You can trace common characteristics of all unhappy relationships. When they come to an end, people manage to find a generalized reason that seems abstract and global but explains everything. Even if you think that your case is unique, millions of people have passed through the same scenario before. Instead of worrying about why everything ended and blaming yourself, understand that there is nothing wrong about a breakup. The top reasons relationships fail can be concluded in the next seven explanations.
Lacking comfort
Relationships are healthy when you can talk on almost any topic and can even stay silent together without experiencing any discomfort. At the same time, you support each other in everything, develop as individuals. You are not afraid to inform your partner about your plans and ideas; you are not looking for excuses for your behavior and desires. When you cease to feel at ease with your beloved, your relationship degrades slowly. You become suspicious or irritated, constant quarrels arise. They result in poor communication, and you understand that you can no longer be with this person.
Not quality sex
Intimate life is a necessary and enjoyable component of a serious relationship between people. If you are not sexually attracted to your partner, and intimacy is rare enough, then the relationship is not all right. Simultaneously, the other side of the coin is also dangerous. If sex is the essential thing in your relationship, and nothing more connects you, then your relationship is unlikely to have a future. You should have a robust emotive bond that will be strengthened by regular quality sex, and then you feel powerful. If one component of this chain is missing, especially the physical aspect, it adds fuel to the fire, and the relationship ends.
Superficiality
If the partner does not introduce you to their parents, friends, and they do not talk about a collective future, then they are not aimed at building long-term and lasting relationships. You must understand what kind of person they are, how and what they think, dream of, their main aspirations, and the circle of communication. When a person doesn't invite you into their life, this relationship is not going to last. Superficial love is not love because this feeling fills every cell of your entity, and you want to become one whole with the partner. When this is missing — interpret it as a reason relationships fail.
You stop developing
Both as individuals and inside the couple. Relationships are work, and both partners must want to do something for the sake of their connection. If you are stuck at the same level, then no prospects are expected. Moreover, the development of each of the partners is essential. If one of them considerably "outgrows" the other, it usually ends with a lack of common interests and topics for discussion serves as one of the reasons why relationships fail. Love is based only on memories of past happiness in this case. At the same time, both sides are losers: one is limited continuously in their aspirations, and the second languishes in its imperfection. But, feeling responsibility and affection, no one dares to be the first to raise the topic that a logical end to the relationship would save the situation.
All relations are conditional
This reason is deeply philosophical. It means that sometimes you cannot find a reason why relationships fail. Because all connections between people depend on specific behavior and the presence of shared goals and values, violence, humiliation, infidelity, different moral principles, mental or emotional instability, addiction — all this and much more can cause the end of a relationship. Boredom and indifference can lead to the same result. According to statistics, "consistent monogamy" has become the norm in our society, and the duration of relationships is not always equivalent to quality. At some point, people decide to let go of the burden they have been carrying for years. And there isn't a specific reason. The time has come, and that's all.
Poor emotional connection
Maybe you are not confident in yourself, or maybe the skeletons of the past put pressure on you. People cannot build serious relationships when they cannot open to each other and create an emotional connection. They are so stuck in their head, absorbed in their thoughts, that they cannot get sincerely open to someone. Maybe you're always worried about how your partner feels. Do you think how many messages they write to you and how often they respond? And when you don't hear anything from them for a long time, you start to worry. You suspect that they will leave you, continually looking for bad signs. You pay more attention to what the partner feels for you rather than what you feel for them. Does this person even suit you? Do they have the qualities you need? It is unlikely that you think about it. You worry about the future, not living in the present. And then everything collapses, and the relationship fails.
Low self-esteem
A significant percentage of relationships that fail describe couples where one of the partners of both suffered from mental problems and insecurities. No matter how trite it sounds, but you can never let in love from the outside if you do not have it inside. How can you believe that someone can love you if you don't love yourself? Self-love and happiness do not arise from relationships as the relationship do not save from emotional wounds. If you have your psychological problems, then you must first deal with this. Otherwise, no relationship will work out. The most crucial factor for a relationship to develop is to be internally prepared. After all, you can only control yourself. The rest is a matter of time, and good luck. Make sure that you are in your best shape, not only physical but also emotional. Because otherwise, this connection will not last.
What You Can Learn for the Future After a Relationship Fails
Fencing off, calming down — all these are natural stages after any breakup, even if you were its initiator. The words, "Once you will understand that everything that happens is for the best" sound like mockery, but after a while, you realize this. Was the relationship happy or painful, this doesn't matter. They ended for a reason, but you should not spend all your nerves and time worrying about why a relationship fails. Something was wrong. And when you finally manage to assemble yourself in pieces, you will see that this separation was necessary. And at the same time, you can see what advantages there are for you.
You are no longer afraid
Toxic and unhealthy relationships are always accompanied by fear. Maybe you were afraid to leave or be left alone. Maybe you were afraid of endless quarrels and new suffering, afraid to make the wrong decision or react incorrectly. Maybe you were afraid that your decision to leave would not be supported by loved ones (especially if you seem like an ideal couple).
If fear becomes a daily companion of relationships, we stop noticing how it affects us and how it prevents us from acting in our interests. We build a whole new life on the principle of "come what may." But in this situation, it is rather difficult to call it a healthy love life.
When parting, you inevitably face your biggest fears; you have no chance to hide because everything you were keeping inside comes to the surface. But you fight those insecurities and leave them behind. You no longer feel like the ax might fall anytime, and courage in all areas of life is greatly enhanced. You feel that after everything you have experienced is up to you now, and this feeling of self-confidence is genuinely priceless.
You can do better on your own
This does not necessarily mean trying everything you have long wanted to, becoming a master in a new sport, or enrolling in a new activity. Although it will get you distracted from the thoughts of why relationships fail nowadays, this means that in your past relationships, you, most likely, dissolved in another person and stopped to perceive this world using the concepts of "I, mine, my." Instead, it was something like "ours, we, their." Now you are free for the most important relationships in life — with yourself. You have time to sort out your desires and needs, without listening to ideas imposed by your partner that sometimes had nothing to do with you. And, of course, it's also worth going to the gym and doing a new haircut — especially if you have always dreamed, for example, standing on a board or dyeing your hair, and your ex was categorically against it.
There will be more good days
You suddenly realize that if you are on your own, only you can spoil your day. While you were in a relationship, you might be disturbed by the partner's behavior, and this feeling sometimes poisoned the mood for the whole day. Now it all depends entirely on you. Only you can make your day fun or not. The choice seems obvious, but it is sometimes helpful to feel sad on a rainy day when no one is forcing, and no one is to blame (especially you). Instead of thinking, "Why do relationships fail?" focus on how you will become more emotionally stable.
At least you now know what love is...
Even if you understand that in the past relationship, there were many shortcomings or your chosen one was not worth you at all, you were putting your whole soul into this love story. Here the emphasis is not on them but you. Many people are afraid to surrender to feelings to the fullest, do not allow themselves to be at least sometimes vulnerable and open. But you have made up your mind. And it is commendable. No one (except yourself) stops you from doing this again but choosing a more suitable person for this. You know that you are capable of real and sincere affection, which is much more than it seems. Not everyone gets this opportunity. Even if your relationship failed, you've learned many lessons from it and are now more robust.
Unlimited Opportunities Are Before You
And it's not scary. It's joyful. In relationships, even bad ones, we value certainty. We know with whom to plan the weekend, with whom we will wake up tomorrow morning, with whom we will go on vacation. People tend to fear the unknown and strive for the precise and familiar. There is nothing terrible about certainty. It gives us a feeling of stability. Most people would put up with something terrible rather than step towards a future in which they do not know what, when, where, and with whom.
Left in blissful solitude, you can choose one of two options. How do you want to perceive your new "single" status? Like a tsunami that dared everything familiar from the face of the earth, or like a fantastic wave that you can surf on into the new life? Try to see a new and uncertain future as an exciting adventure, an unexpected gift of fate. The more joyful, albeit only theoretical, prospects you draw in your head, the higher the chance that your future will be even better than you've imagined. Because quite often, life gives us exactly what we ask, consciously, or not very.
There is nothing wrong with the breakup. Most often, it helps people become better. If you feel that you need to change your life, change it. Do not look back at the opinions of others because this is your choice, and no one else's. We hope that we have clarified for you how to end the relationship properly. Good luck and courage in your decisions!
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