Content:
- Serial Dating Psychology: Who Are Serial Daters?
- What Are the Drawbacks of Serial Dating?
- How to Notice a Serial Dater
- How to Behave If You Are a Serial Dater and It Bothers You
Love and happy relationships are listed among the strongest human desires. Humans are very social beings, and a few of us can truly be happy in self-isolation. For this very reason, we are subconsciously always in search of romantic partners. Normally, when we finally find compatible people, we build strong relationships with them. Those happy and long-lasting relationships serve a great source of energy, inspiration, and happiness for both partners. According to sociologists, people who have stable and healthy relationships are much happier than those who constantly change lovers. So, when it comes to happiness in romantic relationships, we can say that stability is the key factor of success.
Unfortunately, building a healthy and stable relationship is a very hard task. The first complications arise from the fact that all people are different. Thus, you and your partner will have to adapt and adjust to each other. Furthermore, in some cases, this may not be possible at all. So, if you find an incompatible partner, sooner or later, you will break up. This is where online dating comes to rescue because there are always many single girls online. To be honest, online dating is a real game-changer, but it also has many cons. You see, the speed of online dating from one point of view allows you to meet more partners, but on the other hand, it changes your attitude to dating. With time, it may turn you into a serial dater.
Serial Dating Psychology: Who Are Serial Daters?
What is a serial dater? Serial daters appeared not that long ago. Surely, polygamy is not new to humanity, but serial dating is a pretty different thing. Most frequently, serial daters are experts in dating. They use dating apps and websites almost on a professional level. These people have no problems at all when it comes to saying 'I love you' because they put much less meaning in these words. Also, immediately after the end of a date, right on the way home, they log into their accounts on dating websites. They do it without any second thoughts, and this is not because they are looking for love.
You will be very surprised to know that serial dating psychology is not about being morally loose or superficial. Those people want to prolong their bachelor's life as long as possible. Thus, they try to keep benefits of being free, and, at the same time, they always have an opportunity to enter a serious romantic engagement. Unfortunately, serial daters leave a trail of disappointed, depressed, and heartbroken lovers who truly believed that they would have a future with serial daters. So, to avoid those people or deal with your problem of having serial relationships, you need to know that there are two main types of serial dater psychology.
To begin with, we want to tell you about the pragmatic serial daters. As you know, when people are excited about new romantic relationships, they feel like they can handle everything. Needless to say, that feeling on top of the world is like a drug: you always want more of it. Unfortunately, this feeling evaporates in no time, so pragmatic serial daters are always in search of a new source of such strong emotions. They very carefully plan their actions and lives to get all the benefits of love while enjoying the single life. Also, they don't need love at all because they believe that it only constraints people.
On the other hand, semi-romantic serial daters actually believe that true love exists. They also believe that someday they will find someone special with whom they will build a serious and long-term relationship. So far, so good, right? Sadly, these people are not ready to work on their relationships. Instead, semi-romantic serial daters actively use modern dating technologies to meet more and more partners. In simple terms, these people play the game of numbers. They believe that the more people they meet, the more chances they have to find perfect partners. Of course, we understand that it is not the search, but mutual efforts make partners perfect.
So, here is a very simple serial dater definition: it is a person who, at any cost, wants to keep his or her bachelor's life, and because of that, they fear real serious connections. A serial dater will always find reasons why this or that partner is not perfect and why they need to breakup. Instead of working on relationships, they prefer to leave and try again with different people. These people are very great at impressing others. This explains why they never struggle to find someone to flirt.
What Are the Drawbacks of Serial Dating?
Serial dating is a way of life. As with any other way of living, it has its pros and cons. Surely, those are very subjective, but still, serial daters are not among the happiest people. According to sociologists, those who have stable romantic relationships tend to be happier and healthier. With time, serial dates get disappointed in their way of living, but they can't change it. Due to this fact, they begin to feel depressed and lonely, even when they date someone. If you see that you possess certain signs of a serial dater, you definitely need the motivation to change your way of living. So, here are the main drawbacks of serial dating.
1. A serial dater is always afraid to be alone
As you know, we all have some insecurities. In the case of serial daters, or serial monogamists, how some experts call them, they try to prove to themselves that they are worthy of something. Those people usually fear to be alone. For example, they hate to spend time alone because it makes them think about their insecurities. Thus, they often engage in relationships only because they fear loneliness and not because they are interested in this or that person. It is not hard to guess that the results of this behavior are devastating.
2. They become codependent
You see, even though serial daters change their partners very often and never have long-term relationships, they are very dependent on their current partners. This is because they fully rely on their partners to make them happy, pleased, and satisfied, and when their partners fail, they immediately change them. Also, those people very often lack self-confidence and see their partner as a source of it. As you know, codependence, even by itself, is a terrible thing, but codependence in a relationship with a serial dater is far worse and painful.
3. They love relationships more than they love their partners
From a first glance, it may seem those serial daters fully commit themselves to relationships with their lover. However, in reality, they love to have relationships much more than they love their partners. This explains why it is so easy for them to start new relationships. Frequently, they start relationships with those whom they don't actually love.
4. The hunt for pleasure and the next best things
For a serial dater, nothing is enough and satisfying. Even in the best relationships with the best partner, he or she will feel that something is wrong. They are in constant pursuit of better things. It is crucial to understand that they will always have a feeling that something is missing in relationships.
5. They always repeat their mistakes
Owing to the fact that that serial daters get into new relationships immediately after leaving the previous ones, they don't have enough time to understand and process the whole situation. Thus, even though they are very experienced in relationships, they are very ineffective when it comes to solving problems because they can't learn from their mistakes.
How to Notice a Serial Dater
In romantic relationships, normally, people seek stability and honesty. Neither of those things can be seen in relationships with serial daters. Now, when you know, "What is serial dating?" you definitely want to know how to protect yourself from one of those serial daters, especially if you are searching for a romantic relationship. Remember, serial daters are very dangerous to you because they will hurt and leave you brokenhearted because of their serial dating habit. So, here we are going to share with you the top 7 best signs that will help you spot a serial dater before he or she can hurt your feelings.
1. They always rush things
If you think that your dates are very important moments in your life because you never know, maybe a person whom you are going to date will become your lifetime partner. However, serial daters see things differently. To begin with, they approach their dates differently. For them having a date is like having another cup of coffee in the morning. They don't expect you to be their lifetime partner because they only want to get to the "goods" as fast as they only can. So, they will try to rush things between you two.
2. They get bored very easily
If you search only for "pleasant things" in a relationship, it is not surprising that you won't be interested in other aspects of dating. Thus, you will notice that serial daters get bored very easily. For them, it is extraordinarily hard just to spend an evening with you in a restaurant, to say nothing about having a cinema date. Even on your first date, a serial dater will never ask you anything about yourself because he or she simply is not interested in your personality. This is a clear red flag that should give you a clue to hail a taxi to go home.
3. They have wandering eyes
This one is pretty obvious: while normal partners will focus on you on your first date because they are interested in you, a serial dater will be splitting his or her attention. Sooner or later, you will notice that this person is constantly checking everyone around you. This happens because they have a serious case of believing that those whom they haven't dated yet are better than their current dating partners. Thus, they are always on a hunt seeking new victims. This explains why they never create stable couples with other people.
4. They hate loneliness
Probably, this is the most important sign of a serial dater. They simply can't be alone. So, a serial dater will be complaining to you that you don't spend enough time together. Also, you will never see this person staying at home alone. If not with you, he or she will be calling his or her friends to hang out with them. As we have already said, deep down inside serial daters are very unhappy people. Therefore, when they find themselves alone in silence, they begin to think about their problems in dating and life in general. Hence, they, at any cost, try to avoid loneliness.
5. They don’t bother to introduce you to their friends
If a person has no plans to keep you in his or her life forever, then why would he or she bother to introduce you to their friends? This is a very telling sign that you have encountered a serial dater. How often have you found yourself in an awkward position of being the third wheel in conversations just standing there like an idiot waiting until your date-mate ends this conversation? If all those times, your significant other tried to end conversations as soon as possible without acknowledging your presence, you clearly know that he or she has no serious intentions.
6. They never try to make your dates special
Normally, when two people are interested in having a future together, they both try to make their dates interesting and pleasant. On the other hand, serial daters have many reasons not to do any of this stuff. Their ideal date involves you lying on a bed and playing video games between sessions of you having sex. So, you can forget about romance when you are dating a serial dater. He or she doesn't need it, and he or she doesn't want to bother to arrange something special for you. Remember, if you don't feel like a priority for your dating partner, it is because you are not.
7. Your relationship is not progressing
Nope, here we are not talking about stability in a relationship. Remember, healthy relationships can never remain in the same place. If you feel that your relationship is not moving forward, it means that it is slowly dying. Unfortunately, serial daters are not capable of maintaining long-term relationships. Furthermore, they can't even build healthy ones. If your goal is to marry a reliable person, you must understand that now you are dating a trustworthy person who also wants to be with you for the rest of his or her life.
8. They randomly go off the grid.
It is never pleasant or normal when a person who has been texting you every day for a week or even more suddenly completely disappears, and after a couple of days comes back having some ridiculously dramatic excuse: "Oh, I am so sorry, my dog got hit by a car." There is nothing bad if this happened only, but if the situation repeats itself more than once? In this case, you can be sure that they use drama to win your sympathy. After all, it is very pleasant to know that only some catastrophic event can keep him or her from talking to you. Don't let them fool you!
9. They only look for physical intimacy
If it seemed that you both had in mind more than just to have a one-night-stand, but your new partner is more than normally interested in being with you physically, this may mean that you have met a serial dater. Pay attention to his or her actions and words. Your task is to find out whether he or she is interested in emotional ties with you. In the majority of cases, serial daters are not interesting in investing in their partners emotionally, buy are always eager to be with someone physically.
How to Behave If You Are a Serial Dater and It Bothers You
Through the article, we were writing about possible consequences and things to do if you have encountered a serial dater. However, we can't forget that there is a chance that when you were reading this article, you found out that you have all signs of a serial dater. What should you do in this case? Does being a serial dater means that you can't be happy, and people should avoid you? Yes, being a serial dater is not the most pleasant thing in the world, but if you have realized that you have this problem, it means that you have already made a first step to resolving it.
1. Have a serious conversation with yourself
One of the greatest challenges on your way to having long-lasting relationships is to have a serious conversation with yourself. You see, serial dates fear loneliness because of serious reasons. Deep down inside, they fear to face their problems. But facing a problem is a huge step towards resolving it. So, you should never feat it because if you want to improve your life, you will have to do it eventually.
2. Cut yourself off from dating
As we have said before, you will never be able to learn from your own mistakes in relationships if you never take enough time to do this. Thus, one of the greatest ways to deal with your problem is to cut yourself off dating at least for a couple of months. To make this easier, try to hang out with friends, but never agree to have dates until you are truly ready.
3. Create a list of things that you want to see in your partner
Quite often, serial daters change partners because they can't find what they want. But how can you possibly find those things if you have no idea what you want in a relationship and in a partner? So, while you stay away from dating, you can use your time to create a list of traits, characteristics, and personal qualities. This will help you not only know who you are searching for, but also will serve as an additional motivation to keep trying to build a relationship with this or that person.
4. Get ready to work on your relationship, and don’t fear problems
You must understand that to stop being a serial dater and build a healthy relationship, you should stop being afraid of having and dealing with problems. Even if you find a perfect partner who will match all your requirements, you will inevitably have arguments. Your task is not to immediately start searching for someone new, but to make sure that you do your best to resolve your problems and adjust to each other.
When you are searching for a dating partner, your only task is to avoid serial daters. We believe that we have provided you with enough signs and red flags that will allow you to spot serial daters very fast. Sadly, things get much more complicated when you realize that you are a serial dater. In this case, you, first of all, will have to focus on yourself. Because, most frequently, people stop being serial daters after sorting the mess in their heads and understanding what they truly want from their partners.
At first glance, it may seem that being a serial dater is not that bad. After all, it is not a serial dater who ends up brokenhearted, plus they easily combine a bachelor's life with all benefits of relationships. Plus, the idea of having a huge number of dating and sexual partner sounds very attractive. However, you must understand that it is in our nature to settle down with our significant others, and we will never feel truly happy if we don't truly love someone. Consequently, with time, the pleasure of serial dating will decrease, and you will feel anxiety and unbearable sadness instead of happiness and energy.
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