1. Main Difficulties in Starting an Online Dating Conversation
  2. Why You Should Start an Online Dating Conversation
  3. Key Aspects of Successful Online Dating Starters
  4. Tips for Starting an Online Dating Conversation
  5. Good Online Dating Conversation Starters
  6. Fun Online Dating Conversation Topics

Upon seeing a beautiful girl, do not hesitate to text her. If you do not do this, someone else will. The competition is hellish. While you think what to write a girl after "hello," other guys develop seduction skills. On the other hand, your doubts have led you to this article, and that's great. Today we are sharing some of the best online dating conversation topics with you. So, be ready to take notes and learn if you want to find girls online.

online dating conversation starters examples

Main Difficulties in Starting an Online Dating Conversation

To write to a girl, first, send her a friend request, if she adds you, then half the work is done. For greater effect, put likes under her photos, especially profile pictures, and some posts, this, of course, will be pleasant and will add points to your virtual score.

"How to start a conversation online dating?" is not the hardest question to answer. The most difficult thing is to establish this communication, to find something in common to develop acquaintance and get to know each other more. If you have passed this stage, then you can celebrate the first victory.

Online communication can be hard because you cannot always tell how the person feels, as messages are deprived of intonation and context. You need to show your attention to a girl. If she complains about her mood, try to cheer her up. Find out the cause of her problem, it is possible that the girl is just flirting. In this way, she may unconsciously ask you for sympathy or support. Cheer her up, tell some funny or ridiculous story about yourself.

Girls love to be cared for, so try to create such an atmosphere in correspondence so that she thinks that you are not indifferent to her emotional state. Pay attention to the content and emotional coloring of the correspondence. Try not to offend her by accident.

Why You Should Start an Online Dating Conversation

So, let’s say that you are too shy to start off a conversation yourself, you find it scary, you don’t know what to do, you feel the burden of starting a conversation with another person on a dating site, and it feels like you have to come up with something really exciting and witty, otherwise, it can all end up crumbling apart and nothing will come off your future communication, because you didn't do a good enough job at making yourself look interesting.

But the reality is different, if you don’t text first, you leave this burden onto someone else, and maybe, which is quite likely, they won’t text you first. This is especially the case if you are a man, as some women expect men to do it first and won’t do it themselves. But not all women are like this. Regardless, it is safer to just write something rather neutral in your first message, something that you’ve noticed about their profile or about them, something that can be considered to be a topic for a conversation. Don’t worry if it is not interesting and rather tame, you are being yourself, the other person must like you as you are, without any masks and fakeness.

Key Aspects of Successful Online Dating Starters

Online conversation differs a lot from the real-life one. Here you do not have a right for a mistake. You neither have time to create a first impression nor check the reaction of the girl to your words nor transform an awkward phrase into a joke. You have only one chance. That is why we suggest you take a look at some online dating starting conversation tips we have compiled.

Originality. Do not make mistakes at the start. Catching a stranger girl so that she smiles, melts and even falls in love is indeed hard. The biggest fail you can do at the start is to use templates. Right, if nature endowed you with the beauty of Jude Law or the charisma of Javier Bardem, even the most stupid things you say will be treated with a smile. But if you are a regular guy, avoid banalities and standard starters. You can come up with a few of your own good online dating conversation starters and send them to all girls you like in a row. Because they will not know that you've used this trick. After all, you will adhere to the template more or less. However, using an old-fashioned pickup line you have found on the web is a way to fail.

Personal appeal and attention to her. In a conversation with a beautiful girl, try to withstand lightness, so that communication flows by itself, do not strain too personal and intimate questions at first. Try to joke more and flirt. Show that you are interested in communicating, ask tricky questions, but they should be neither vulgar nor offensive. As a rule, standard questions help, some of the next can come in handy:

  • What kind of music does your interlocutor prefer to listen to?
  • Which genre of cinema is closer to her?
  • Does she have any hobbies, for example, sports, dancing, singing or something else?
  • Where does she study? If at a university, then what specialty does she have? Maybe she’s already working. Why not ask in which field or in what position?
  • You can find out about taste preferences and favorite dishes.

online dating starting a conversationConfidence. Remember that girls love initiative guys, and, as a rule, they do not spend their time on those who do not show high interest in them. Therefore, if you see that a girl is flirting with you in correspondence, you can safely ask her for a phone number and make an appointment in the future. It is unlikely that the girl will refuse you, she can make you doubt if she is serious, but this is rather flirting. It is important not to back down, reassure your interlocutor, and the number will be in your pocket, or to be more precise, in your phone.

If you have any flaws, try to make them virtuous or show that you are not shy about them. Of course, we are talking about adequate flaws. Warn the girl about extreme shyness, preferably in a comic form. Tell her about a feature or your fear, for example, that you are blushing madly or start to stutter a little. Tell some stories related to this. Then in most cases, the interlocutor will find it nice, and she will want to support you. It is pretty smart to use your personal story in online dating conversation starters. You appeal to the girl’s sympathy and show your openness.

Tips for Starting an Online Dating Conversation

Feeling puzzled what question to ask a girl to interest her? Do not reinvent the wheel. Everything has been invented for you. Start with a catchy opener. Openers are synonyms for the best conversation starters for online dating. What catches her instincts, evokes emotions, attracts attention, sets you apart from the crowd of losers who surf dating sites without a chance of sex. Of course, you are not like them because you use our advice.


Thinking that you can write a girl on a dating site, try the game of intrigue. "Hi. I know something about you that others do not know ..." - it is unlikely that she will resist, "I wonder what?" More online dating conversation examples:

  • “Wow! What are you doing here?”
  • “Do you know what I liked about you?”
  • “You combine two incompatible qualities. Men usually don’t like them, but I’m delighted.”

The girl is a curious creature. She will languish until she finds out the answers. Intriguing, do not forget to pause between messages.


This is what will force her to answer you. Provocation serves as a catalyst for an online dating conversation. Avoid rudeness and vulgarity. Here are examples, take and use.

  • "I want to ask you a question of an intimate nature ..." Yes, it’s tense, but her attention is already riveted to you. Go on.
  • “Do you happen to work in a creative environment — among designers, artists, photographers?” The young woman will be surprised, relax, and will surely ask what is intimate here.
  • “Well then. This is a personal question. And personal is always the territory of the intimate.” You not only provoked her reaction and emotion at the start but also earned a reputation "not like everyone else."

Directive style

You can interest almost any woman in a style that pickup artists call direct. It is a dominant manner of communication. Without misfires, she works with beautiful girls who, by default, are looking for a "Real Man." Domination is easy to mask the lack of experience with girls, fears, and complexes. Practicing the direct style, broadcast the image of a strong and confident male, fearless leader. Here are online dating conversation starters examples.

  • “Hey, beautiful. There are so many things I liked about you that it would be a crime if you do not give me your number. I'll meet you in a more convenient place for communication.”
  • “Hi, pretty. You and I are meeting tomorrow. What time will you be free?” Choosing a directive style for the first message, return to your profile.

The correct compliment

If you do not know what to write to a girl, make her a compliment. Everyone loves flattery. Even you. In the meantime, when she will be taken aback by your straightforwardness and beautiful words, you will have more time to think about your conversation for online dating. Flattery should be of the highest quality. Not just “you're beautiful,” but “you have an impeccable style.” Not “drowning in your eyes,” but “how many men have you driven crazy with your gaze?” Or:

  • conversation starters for online dating“Hello! I’m one of those annoying freaks who think you're stunningly beautiful." Even better:
  • “Your parents deserve the Nobel Prize. Or what do they give to the creators of world masterpieces?” Generate compliments by studying her profile. Pay attention to details - almost no one does this:
  • “You have such thin aristocratic wrists,” “I find your style really cool. You have an impeccable taste.”

The ability to make personal compliments more than once will help you climb the most impregnable mountain.

Answer the three main questions that interest her

What you are interested in, we have probably guessed. She is interested in something else: who are you, what you want and why did you choose her. An individual presentation will enhance the attractiveness of your profile and reduce the distance between correspondence and meeting. Of course, to tell her about this, you need to answer these questions for yourself. Think over what qualities do you look for in a girl, why did you stop on this particular lady, was it because of that contemporary art that she mentioned in her profile description or her stunning smile? Come on, don't be shy.

"Hi. My name is John. You know my life is pretty beautiful. Business, a house, a tree. One main thing is lacking. I saw a photo where you look somewhere in the distance. And I felt we are looking in the same direction.” When you feel what you want to say, sensibly and beautifully, writing a girl that you like can be done without any troubles. Just do not lie, but embellish – girls are very sensitive to lying and will not forgive you obvious exaggerating.

Most girls expect the first step from the guys

Dear men, remember that you are a strong sex, even in correspondence, you are predators. Girls love determined and purposeful guys, and they can easily recognize them even by short communication on social networks. Therefore, at the first time of your communication, most girls will wait for the first message from a guy. For them, the first message measures the degree of a man’s interest in communication. In the future, if your communication reaches a higher level, then your interlocutor may well be the first to establish communication with you. But start communicating with a new person, do not wait for the initiative from her, use confidence as your main online dating conversation tip.

Good Online Dating Conversation Starters

And the next cheat sheet you can print and hang on the wall. It will help get acquainted with at least a hundred good girls. But we remind you, you are not the only one reading our site. Get inspired, not copy, so as not to get into that awkward situation when someone else wrote the same phrase to the same girl before you. The list of our conversation starters for online dating.

  • You know, the Constitution says that you can’t deprive a person of the right to happiness. Som please, do not commit a crime.
  • Today, I've finally realized for whom I've registered on this dating site.
  • I saw photos from Rome in your profile. Are you as much in love with this city as I am?
  • I lost the argument, and for this, I have to invite the most beautiful girl on the site for a date.
  • I think I'm not the first one who wants to meet you. But I am the best. Will you give me a chance to prove?
  • I know how you look. I know your name (provided that I can believe the information in the profile). But I want to know you more. Will you allow me?
  • I am the employment service worker and want to keep you busy with something interesting in the very near future. Do not you mind?
  • Want to chat with someone who really likes you? You may learn a lot of new things about yourself.
  • Such spectacular girls should not spend time online. Beauty needs to be shown to the world. Will you allow me to walk you to a very decent place?
  • Feeling sorry for the girls on this site. Your presence turns them into a gray mass.
  • When I saw you, I thought it was such a blessing.
  • When I saw your profile, I was glad that I am free and we can meet.
  • In one of your pics, you are looking somewhere in the distance. Well, I think we are looking in the same direction.
  • I can give you my free time in exchange for a phone number.
  • Hey. Would you tell me what is the best way to spend my salary?
  • Do you know why this site is better than others? It was on it that we met. By the way, my name is Sergey.
  • I thought dating sites were a waste of time. Until today I've met your profile.
  • What should an interesting guy write to a very beautiful girl so that she meets him?
  • You probably don't believe in love from the first message, but I'm ready to text you more and more.

Fun Online Dating Conversation Topics

Where to start and how to conduct communication to please the interlocutor and, at the same time, to understand whether this correspondence brings you pleasure? After the welcome greeting and the acquaintance itself, of course, you need to find out the interests and hobbies of the girl.

1. Work

Tell a couple of funny situations from your work or school practice. Ask about the relationship in the team: are there common holidays? Ask about the bosses and teachers. Surely in these stories, there is something in common, there will be something to laugh at.

  • What do you do?
  • How long have you been working there?
  • Do you like what you do?
  • Are you on good terms with your colleagues?

good online dating conversation starters2. News

  • What do you think about * interesting or funny news *?
  • Have you heard about the * news *?

3. Sports

Start carefully with her favorite sports. Famous athletes, gyms, swimming, sports tourism are pretty safe areas, you cannot fail here.

  • What kind of sport do you like?
  • Have you ever gone to games (matches)?
  • Do you go in for any sport?

4. Place of residence and traveling

You can talk about your recent trip and where the girl is originally from. Ask where the girl likes to go, ride, about her favorite weather for walking, where she would like to go. If the lady is from another country, this is a great plus, you can always ask to tell you about her motherland. Or try to impress her with some random facts you have heard about this state, however, be extremely tolerant.

Do not find out the address, it is tactless. If she wants to, she will show where she lives when you accompany her. Here you can discuss:

  • In what district do you live?
  • Do you like this area?
  • Did you move there long ago?
  • How long does it take to get to work from there?
  • What are your dream countries?
  • Would you try living abroad?

5. Music, films

Pretty safe areas where all people have different experiences, preferences, and background. So, you can share and learn something new.

  • What kind of movies/music do you like?
  • What was the last movie you watched?
  • Which actor/actress/director do you like most?
  • Who would you watch a movie with, even if it is poorly rated?
  • Mozart or Justin Bieber?

6. Food

From family dinners with grandma’s pies to your favorite dishes, exotic seafood, good cafes, barbecue trips, etc. An invitation to your favorite cafe or city on the weekend will be completely logical in this case.

  • What is your favorite cuisine/dish?
  • Do you like to cook?
  • What unusual dishes/products have you tried?
  • What is your favorite drink? What about alcohol?

7. Pets

The topic is a win-win unless you run into an outspoken psychopath. Does she have a cat, a dog, a rat, a fish, a parrot? Ask for a photo and tell how cute they are. Talk about your pets without fail. Imagine what your beloved iguana and her guinea pigs would look together.

  • Are you more a cat or a dog person?
  • What kind of pets did you have?
  • What would you like to have (maybe an exotic living creature)?
  • What is your spirit animal?

online dating conversation topics8. Personality

Bad habits. It’s better to talk about “cute” flaws: the habit of being late, losing pens, or vice versa - invisibly collecting them from all your friends. The main thing is to have fun.

  • Who are your role models? Maybe this is a loved one or some kind of celebrity.
  • What personal qualities help you in life?
  • Which one of your traits would you like to get rid of?
  • What achievements in life are you proud of?

9. Hobbies

Even if this is not the most interesting occupation, she will be grateful to you for being interested in this topic and once again reminded that her life is not a series of successive work and stress.

10. Objectives in life

We do not take into account the issue of creating a strong and prosperous family. You can find out goals in the following areas:

  • Sport, health.
  • Career.
  • Housing (own apartment or house), country of residence, city.
  • Do you always finish the work you have begun?

The information obtained will help determine whether you have common interests and views. Is the interlocutor of any interest to you as a person? And in general, is it worth continuing the acquaintance. But do not forget that you also have to answer such questions, moreover, truthfully, and that you are also evaluated, and some conclusions are drawn.

Guys often doubt whether it is worth continuing to communicate and whether the girl will answer next time. The main reason to continue communication is your desire. If you do not want to communicate, it is better not to force yourself to write something to someone. In addition, the reluctance to communicate very quickly will be revealed. It is fairly easy to guess when a person is not interested in communication. For example, short answers, lack of initiative and any emotions, in other words, dry correspondence. If you feel such an attitude from a girl, then it is better to stop such an acquaintance. And look for another interlocutor who will be interested in communicating with you.

Comments (2)
18.02.2020 13:20
Wow, great starters. Perhaps I will use some of them.
06.05.2020 14:10
Oh, I was used to be so afraid of starting a conversation on online dating sites, it was frankly ridiculous, I even wrote it in my article, “I won’t text you first, I’m shy”, probably didn’t look all that intriguing and good for all the women that clicked on my profile. They always say that self-confidence is very important in men, and I don’t disagree, it will only come with experience.

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