Content:
- Why Should We Single Out the Stages of Dating?
- The Main Stage of Dating and Their Features
- Tips for Each of the Stages of Dating
When we meet a charming stranger, who evokes some pleasant feelings in us, we immerse ourselves into illusions especially if we were single for too long before that big meeting. Butterflies in the stomach and all signs of strong attraction are perceived as true love. We believe that we have finally met our soulmate, and it means that we will get our deserved happily ever after. And the stronger feelings we have, the more we convince ourselves that we will not screw up this time, and everything will end in a wedding. However, over time we find out once again that all these emotions have nothing to do with true love because people who love each other cannot quarrel, so it seems that love is over. We just don’t know that we haven’t just reached the stage of love. We give up, never knowing that the most amazing period of relationships is still ahead. Yes, each of us dreams of living in perfect harmony with our partners and read between the lines, having understood everything correctly. This is how we imagine true love. However, to reach it, we must go through numerous dating stages. True love is about a kinship of souls, closeness, and infinite tenderness to each other that we get as a reward for all our efforts and patience. It would be more correct to say that true love does not come on its own when you just find women online, but two mature personalities nurture it.
Why Should We Single Out the Stages of Dating?
The human psyche is dual - it has a feminine and masculine principle (anima and animus). That is why when we choose each other, we actually fall in love with our own projections, which are reflected in the character of the partner. With the development and establishment of a deeper level of attachment, unconscious feelings and fears begin to come to the surface. It requires hard work, but we deny it. That is why true love must pass all the stages of dating relationships to help partners accept each other and move to a higher level.
Thus, quarrels and disappointments are not always a reason for a breakup. Too many couples decide to leave their relationships when they face their first difficulties. It seems to the men that if something goes wrong when they meet a dominant woman, then they should leave this union right away. It may happen because you idealize your relationships and live in illusions: modern culture makes you believe that “true” love doesn’t face any problems.
Such misconception is an extremely dangerous thing which will cost you a lot since you have to pay with your own happiness. Often a relationship can be saved if you understand in time that you are just going through different stages of dating. And you shouldn’t forget that you will face routine, everyday difficulties, alienation, disappointment and a lot of other things. Nonetheless, you can continue to move to your true mutual love, holding hands. If there are no red flags in your relationships, and just a process of development of your couple is tough, you shouldn’t give up and leave. That’s’ why it’s very important to single out the dating stages timeline to realize that everything is fine, and you just take another step towards your happiness and true love.
The Main Stage of Dating and Their Features
When you hear the word “dating” what are you thinking about? What memories, associations, and emotions it evokes? Its definition will be almost alike for most people. However, one shouldn’t forget that this “phenomenon” is greatly affected by the society and time you live in. If you ask your parents or grandparents about their dating experience, you will find out that everything is pretty different nowadays. And since many people associate dating only with having fun and moonlight walks, they can be surprised and maybe even feel embarrassed to know that there are numerous stages in dating, and not all of them are about courtship and spending time with pleasure. What are the 5 stages of dating? Are there only 5 or can be more? Let’s find out. Anyway, you should be aware of the stages of dating your couple can be at. Maybe this information will help sort things out and realize that you develop as a couple.
1. Infatuation
When you meet someone special, you feel the chemistry between you, that is, a mutual attraction that occurs between two grownups. It occurs unexpectedly as if by itself. You cannot prevent it or drown out. You don’t choose it consciously, your basic instincts do the whole job. When you have a crush on someone, and this feeling is mutual, you feel needed, appreciated, and admired. You feel as if you have taken some drugs, and the gloomy world becomes bright and wonderful. Your body starts producing certain hormones that block all negative emotions and rational thinking. It is one of the early stages of dating that is the brightest and joyful one. You are ready to devote all the time and effort to your partner, they become for you the best person on earth. You ignore the advice of others, believing that you know better who is right for you. Gradually, these sensations fade away, and returning to reality can be sometimes painful.
2. Formation of a couple
At this stage, you put off your rose-colored glasses and look clearly at things. You develop an attachment to your partner while previous bright emotions and feelings gradually subside. You get used to each other, so you begin to behave more relaxed and natural. And if earlier, you could spend the whole day, getting ready for your meeting with a loved one, and it was perceived as a special solemn event, now you take it for granted. You feel great and very calm together, you are confident in each other, even if you don’t experience such bright emotions as back in days. You mature and develop together and start to understand what your significant other really needs. It is at this stage that many people decide to start living together, enter an official committed relationship, or have a baby. You know that your union is based on shared values and mutual respect. A partner becomes a full-fledged part of your life, and you understand that you are a single whole.
3. Disappointment and alienation
The biggest number of breakups and divorces occur at one of the beginning stages of dating, thus, people break up, having not even reached the middle. The stage of disappointment is somewhat like a hangover. You feel sad and painful that the party is over, and its consequences cause discomfort. Your bright emotions have already disappeared and hopes for a cloudless future turned out to be a bubble. It seems that everything goes wrong in your relationship, and the situation worsens with every day. You don’t understand what has happened with the person you fell in love with.
When you are at the stage of infatuation, the jokes of a beloved person seem doubly hilarious, sarcasm is treated as a sign of intelligence, and everything connected with them is just perfect. When the stage of alienation takes place, you see everything differently: jokes seem poor, sarcasm seems to be more about arrogance, and any comments start annoying right away. Naturally, you are wondering if you have made the right choice. And you are not alone in facing that problem. It’s difficult to survive this stage, but if you succeed, then everything will only get better.
4. Patience
This is a turning point in the relationship. In this period, many couples turn to a psychologist, start reading psychological articles, trying to find out something about the stages of dating and how to survive a crisis. During this period, partners become much wiser. They develop their ability to compromise and find mutual understanding, so it becomes not that difficult to avoid conflicts. However, the couples spend less time with each other during this period even though many of them have already given birth to kids. It’s difficult to follow desires or emotions due to many issues. Someone (or both) feels misunderstood and lonely. This does not mean that one must meekly endure everything that happens. If you do not proceed to a new stage, then someone’s patience may run dry. If the couple decides to get divorced as soon as the kid becomes a bit older, then the relationship was stuck at the stage of patience.
5. Devotion
Partners understand that they continue to love each other even without rose-colored glasses. You try to save the situation, having changed your mindset. You start working on relationships, and your feelings become more mature and stronger. Partners recognize that the person nearby neither can nor should be perfect. This stage can safely be called a “prelude” to true love. You start realizing that everyone has drawbacks, problems, complexes, but each one has something wonderful. When the level of hormones has got back to normal, partners are ready to do something pleasant for each other without any reason. You want to take care and spend quality time together, having got rid of egoistic needs and desires.
6. Friendship
They say that there is no friendship between a woman and a man. However, it happens! It’s one of the most pleasant stages of dating for a man. During this period, you become remarkably close to each other, share all their feelings, grievances, tell secrets, and communicate as best childhood friends. You have nothing to hide from each other, you have been together for a long time, and this stage of true friendship opens the way for true love. Actually, you have got to know each other well and learned to accept your significant other as they are. You respect each other’s boundaries and don’t try to violate them. On the contrary, you feel gratitude and trust.
7. Love
When you manage to reach the last stage, you achieve a new level of mutual respect and acceptance. You don’t pretend to be someone you are not, you are aware of each other's pros and cons, and love the partner as they are. True love takes a very long time. It’s not about duration but rather about accepting yourself and your partner as you are, rethinking your life, the ability to give and sacrifice tolerance, and humility, when necessary. Our life is not only about joys, having fun, and coming up with great date ideas. You can deal with everything, but do you want that? When you face difficulties and meet challenges together, the partner becomes your partner in crime and a shoulder to cry on. Such love brings real changes. It allows you to forget sorrows, increase your self-esteem, and helps you feel more worthy.
Tips for Each of the Stages of Dating
In any relationship, the stage of infatuation doesn’t last for too long, giving way to everyday life and accepting your partner as they are. True love doesn't come out of the blue, it requires much effort and adequate attitude and reactions at every stage of its development. If you cannot pass this test, then your relationships will face a dead end, and chances are you will rather break up then continue to suffer being together. And it doesn’t matter whether you are an official cell of society or just have lived together for several years, anyway, the power of feelings is always checked by time, and you can reach true deep and adult love only after certain stages of dating. We have already emphasized the main stages, and now let’s find out how to get the best out of them.
1. Enjoy the whole range of feelings at the stage of infatuation
However, do not confuse this state with true love. It is undoubtedly full of emotions and thrills, but this is not love. It is a foretaste of love. Therefore, you should not immediately run to the registry office or immediately move in together when you are not ready for this. Enjoy romance, beautiful dates, and do not rush to immerse yourself in everyday life. Don’t distort the image of your beloved one but do everything to get to know them better. Pay attention to how a person behaves in different situations, how they communicate, their plans, and life principles. It is the main early stages of dating advice.
2. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not the first stage as well
It is important to not overdo with your desire to look your best to impress your potential partner. You should seem perfect in all the aspects of life, strengthening the illusions of the date. Of course, you may have many advantages you want to show, but everything must be in moderation. You should allow a person to fall in love with you and not your image that has nothing to do with reality.
3. Don’t become overly attached at the second stage
You shouldn’t think that you have finally met your destiny, and everything will always be fine a priori. Even if your psychological compatibility is high, you cannot avoid certain crises that will require your efforts. Why is it important to know? When another stage of the relationship begins, you shouldn’t believe that love has passed, and it’s time to break up. You should look for compromises and understand the best scenario for your couple. Besides, don’t forget that you are two different people with your worldviews, so it’s worth talking more and explaining your feeling to the partner.
4. Take the right decision at the third stage
If you see that you don’t suit each other in almost all the areas of life, then maybe it’s better to leave. Often people comfort themselves with illusions, "There was such strong chemistry, they seemed to be my destiny" and turn a blind eye to the obvious shortcomings of the person or even red flags in relationships. Partners should take a small break in relationships, go on a trip with friends or visit relatives to understand how they feel without each other and whether they will miss the partner badly.
5. Be ready for changes at the third stage as well
This stage can unpleasantly surprise you with all its changes when you see that the partner’s behavior pattern changes dramatically as well as yours. To save your relationships and be ready to move on hand in hand, you should be ready for all the transformations. Your partner may decide to be involved in new activities, find new friends, or change the job, besides the inner development of the person can influence the relationship as well. You will have to get to know each other once again and come up with a new set of rules that both of you will follow.
6. Accept the partner at the fourth stage
The main goal of this stage is to accept the personal boundaries and the inner world of your partner. You shouldn’t try to change your significant other but focus on yourself and your development as a personality. When both of you learn to consider the needs of the partner, accept their character traits, and even some annoying habits, when you don’t try to prove your point, sacrificing the atmosphere in the couple, then this stage will be considered over. You can control your dissatisfaction and quarrels, so the level of your patience is really high.
7. Find new common ground at the fifth stage
As we have already said, if you have reached this stage and realized that your relationships have more advantages than drawbacks, then you will have to reconsider your expectations, get rid of illusions and develop patience. It is important to understand that right now you communicate with a real person, and not with your expectations. And no real person can consist only of virtues. To prevent a crisis, it is enough to find new common ground, build another foundation of the partnership. For example, you can launch a small business or find a new joint activity to your liking.
8. Become the best friends at the sixth stage
If you have already started treating each other with warmth, tenderness, and respect, then you have reached the sixth stage of your relationships. It can be called the first big step towards true love. Each of you realizes your responsibilities and fulfill them. At this stage it’s important to remember that you are not just friends and close people but partners and lovers. So, you should spice up your relationships and start dating again. Yes, you should remember how to spend quality time together and get new positive impressions.
9. Share your knowledge at the seventh stage
If you solve internal conflicts, satisfy their ambitions, and accept each other as you are, then you have reached the highest stage of your relationships. You reach the top and are ready to move on and become "energy generators," which means that you can easily share benefits with others. You accumulate a lot of love and unspent feelings that you can convey to others. Families should actively share their experiences and love at this stage.
10. Enjoy your relationships to the fullest at the top stage
You understand each other as nobody in the whole world, you have created a strong connection and learned to accept your features. You appreciate and value your significant other, thus, it’s time to enjoy the results of your efforts.
Don’t Be Afraid of Such a Long Path
Having learned about all these stages, some people may think that it can take for too long to reach the final point. However, the thing is that you can combine several stages at once or get stuck at one of them for too long. Everything will depend on your relationships, desire to find a compromise, and how much you really suit each other. Anyway, all the efforts are worth reaching the seventh stage and becoming happy.
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