Content:
- Why do we want to give a second chance?
- Giving a second chance: why it's a good idea
- Giving a second chance: why it's a bad idea
- Giving someone a second chance after cheating
- Second chance relationship: how to make it work
- Giving someone a second chance quotes
Love is not only a great gift and the strongest energy but a continuous and consistent chain of actions aimed at its development and strengthening. Love is the daily and greatest work of two people. Why do we stop making ourselves and our partners happy and contented? The answer lies in the depths of our subconscious. Not all people are able to save relationships from collapse. There are many reasons for this, respectively.
Falling in love, we hope only for the best, want to live together happily ever after. We believe wholeheartedly that everything will turn out to be good. And we invest a lot in it. Why, despite all our warm feelings for each other, high hopes, and numerous efforts, relationships break? When does the breakdown occur?
The first stage of relationships, where there is passion, interest, and attraction to each other, is the stage of romantic charm. Falling in love, we fall into the sweet state of unity with a partner. “Now, I'm not alone, there are two of us”. It is very good and pleasant for us to be together, we enjoy mutual communication, the ability to be close; feelings are overwhelming us. The shortcomings of the other seem small and insignificant, and if there is something annoying or alerting, we hope that for the sake of our love, he or she will change. Life in this state seems like a paradise and we want it to be so forever.
But everything new becomes ever familiar and habitual. Therefore, after some time, the romantic charm passes, and a new stage comes: the stage of getting used to each other, building a common life, adapting to the peculiarities and shortcomings of the partner, and the distribution of rights and duties.
This period is not only inevitable but also extremely important, because it is during this period that the couple tries to create happy and satisfying relationships. It begins when both are saturated with their relationship. Accordingly, each of us has a desire to move away from the other, to be not only in relationships but also outside of them.
For example, not to spend all the time together but to meet with friends, to realize personal interests and projects. In addition, the romantic halo of a partner is reduced, and people begin to see not only the best but also the ordinary, and sometimes even the worst in it, as a result of which certain disappointment appears. Therefore, we will call this stage “Disappointment in partner and relationship”.
Almost all people are very afraid of its occurrence and are trying to push it aside in every possible way. In order not to argue, not to quarrel with one another because of the fear of losing a loved one, because of the inability to defend their interests, partners are struggling to extend the romantic period and continue to portray love and euphoria, even when feeling discontent and frustration in a relationship.
Fearing quarrels and conflicts, both pretend that everything is good, everything is as before, the passion has not disappeared and there are no complaints about the other. There are many in this attempt to extend the state of unity. Thus, both partners only accumulate irritation, dissatisfaction with relationships and boredom. After all, none of them get what they really want. In this article, we will tell you whether it is worth giving a second chance to the ex after a break.
Why do we want to give a second chance?
People often have a desire to give a second chance to their exes, but is it worth it? Unable to reach mutual understanding, the man and woman decide to break up. Meanwhile, the official termination of relations doesn’t mean at all that the connection between people is completely lost.
According to psychologists, a feeling of incompleteness arises when people, being together, didn’t fully understand what exactly they wanted from their relationships. This feeling of incompleteness and understatement makes us think about whether to give the relationship a second chance.
Emotional attachment to a loved one often doesn’t disappear after a breakup. This is manifested in obsessive thoughts about ex-partners, in the desire to take care of them and get support from them. In the case when such feelings are mutual, it may be worth trying to renew relationships.
Sometimes you want to give the relationship another chance, even if it was not perfect before. Longing for an ex-partner or just a fear of loneliness forces us to return again and again to the dilemma: “Should I give a second chance?”
There cannot be a single correct answer to this question. Each person has own story and makes it in own way.
Giving a second chance: why it's a good idea
It is not excluded that when you already completely forgot about what happened, you will meet the person you loved in the past. Perhaps there will be some liking between you and your partner. Your ex admits that he missed you and wants to be with you again. “Should I give him a second chance?” Take your time with the answer. Weigh the pros and cons. Remember why you broke up. If it was a stupid quarrel, then it may be worth to resume everything and forget the insults. But if the reasons were serious, then it is not known whether your newly created union will be happy. Understand that you run the risk of “walking twice into the same water.” For example, if the characters are different, conflicts will continue to aggravate the relationship. Misunderstanding and mutual recriminations will return. To convince yourself that this time everything will be different is a self-deception. Insignificant moments can be changed, but complete incompatibility is almost impossible to fix.
The reason for separation may not be in the characters, but, for example, in conflicts with the family of a loved one. Then, it is worth discussing this problem. Talk about future plans, decide what to do not to repeat the old mistakes. There is always hope that a compromise will be found, and you can be together. The second chance to give relationships is worth it, but only if you are sure that the separation was the wrong thing, you deeply regret it, and want to return the feelings sincerely.
1. Personal well-being
This is not about material things, but it’s generally known that when you forgive someone, it becomes easier for you. Sometimes so much so that it is comparable to the feeling of happiness.
2. People can change
Science has proven that a person’s personality can change over the years, having learned from own mistakes. If you give a person a second chance, you will also give the opportunity to see how better your ex has become.
3. It is practical because it saves a lot of nerves.
An example from life: a faucet broke in your home and you called a plumber to fix it. The tap leaks again. You can call another plumber, but he will know less about the problem than the one who fixed the faucet for the first time. And, perhaps, the result will be even worse than the first. It is the same with romantic relationships: one can forgive their ex who recognized the mistake and promised not to make it again. It is not necessary to look for a new partner with whom to start everything from scratch.
4. You want others to forgive you
Now imagine that you need a second chance. You would feel better if you were forgiven and allowed to fix everything and start over.
Giving a second chance: why it's a bad idea
1. If you intend to start a relationship with a person who will be serious about the very beginning. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. If a person is not ready for a serious relationship, then it does not change.
2. As practice shows, second chances come to nothing. Maybe he will have a second chance, but with another girl - the one whom he will treat more seriously and will not take for granted.
3. Do not start a relationship on an unstable foundation. If you give the ex a second chance, then such a person will have to strengthen your relationship. They will have to earn your trust. And soon they themselves will get bored. Such individuals want partners that they do not need to start from scratch. Second chances complicate everything.
6. You know your own worth and want someone who can appreciate you too. And if you don’t see what you are worth, it’s his loss. If he missed his first chance with you, that’s his problem. He did not see your potential.
7. If your partner does not give a damn about you, he will be good from the very first day. A partner must behave with dignity, not only when he realizes that he has lost. And from the very beginning. If he is the one with whom you are destined to be, he will treat you with love and respect from the very beginning.
8. If they left once, they will leave again. First, your ex wants a second chance, then a third, and so on. Such people do not change. If they do not take your relationship seriously, then you should go separate ways.
Giving someone a second chance after cheating
So, should you give someone a second chance after cheating? Well, you are adults and you understand that there is no painless way out of the situation. When you face such thing as cheating, your relationship is transformed. Relationships take their course. More precisely, the relationship will continue to take its course if you undergo a transformation. Yes, it will be painful - because pain is always there where it is necessary to change quickly. It is more realistic to see yourself and your partner, without rose-colored glasses. You thought to yourself that this could not happen to you, but now you have a chance to show humanity, you have the experience “I am the same as everyone”.
And you found out about your partner with astonishment that he has needs. It was not necessary to ignore these needs, but it was necessary to distinguish and satisfy them in time. This is a lesson for you in the future so painful that you know.
If you already had a similar experience in your life, then there is a very big chance that it will happen again. The hope that in the new relationship everything will be different, since the previous ones were just a mistake, is too strong. Especially if the partners are beautiful and young. And how can you condemn them for this?
Second chance relationship: how to make it work
You should be more often together so that you can slightly control the behavior of your partner and guide them in the right direction. So, by their reaction to your comments, you will understand whether your soul mate sincerely wants to be with you. It is possible that someone is satisfied with this state of affairs and does not want to change it.
Support each other. You need to believe in your own strength, in your love, which is capable of performing miracles. Do not use coldness and detachment, it will only aggravate the situation. On the contrary, open your heart to warmth and caress. If you create all the conditions for a happy relationship, you will sincerely give love, the lover will never want to take advantage of your gullibility and betray again. Often, infidelity is caused by the wrong behavior of a partner. For example, a man needs to be aware of his demand; he wants to be praised, to recognize his strength. If you behaved disrespectfully towards him, it could be the cause of betrayal.
You can believe him again only by changing your behavior in order not to create conditions for mutual insults. It is always useful to turn the situation around in the opposite direction - put yourself in the place of a loved one and think about how you would feel. Trust can only be mutual, it is impossible to save love constantly checking a person.
Discuss with your partner everything that happens in your life to exchange opinions, judgments and thoughts. Keep up with the events occurring in your lives, talk more often in the kitchen sipping tea, listen to the interlocutor. If you will be a lover, friend, and a kind adviser, you will never be betrayed.
Giving someone a second chance quotes
1. “A second chance doesn't mean anything if you didn't learn from your first.”
Anurag Prakash Ray
2. “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”
Mae West
3. “Having a second chance makes you want to work even harder.”
Tia Mowry
4. “We all make mistakes, everybody should be given a second chance.”
Lailah Gifty Akita
5. “Second chances do come your way. Like trains, they arrive and depart regularly. Recognizing the ones that matter is the trick.”
Jill A. Davis
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