Content:
- Does a Disabled Woman Need Intimacy?
- Online Dating for Disabled: Tips and Advice
- Best Disabled Dating Sites
As there are many types of disabilities, there is no one true answer to this. Yet, the following story will tell you a thing or two about love and what dating a disabled person is like.
I am a chauffeur by profession. Ever since my youth I was fascinated by racing, I worked in a taxi service for years. Once, I was on the road, it was raining, and I saw a woman catching a ride. She was wearing jeans, a jacket and got no umbrella. She was completely soaking wet. I slowed down, opened the door, and she smiled: “Thank you. Can you drive me to the prosthetics factory?” I remember asking why she was interested. And she answered without any hesitation or second thoughts: “I have no legs. I am going to get my new prostheses”. I was really surprised by how direct she was, even shocked. While we were driving, we talked - and Jane seemed so cute to me that I could not resist, I asked for her number. Then I wondered for a long time: do I call or not?
I understood that I was drawn to her, but did I really have the right to just call her, just like that, hint at a relationship and meet her a couple of times? I doubted myself: what are the prospects of dating a disabled woman? For a month I fought with myself, I did not call. And one day I had enough. She just got me too interested, she was so straightforward and honest.
We began to date with Jane. And what is interesting: I have always believed that women are more cunning than us men. I had this experience: she seems to be good to you, but she can use you as a toy. And Jane ... She was so warm, she was real and honest. It was such a completely new, amazing, tender feeling that I drove to her, far away from my town, almost every day. Just to see her. I was really surprised with myself: an experienced, adult man, and I was afraid to even touch her.
Once I cautiously tried to find out - what happened to her? She told that as a child she got hit by a train, and a driver, completely horrified, brought her to the hospital in his arms. Jane was rescued, but her legs had to be amputated below the knee. At the age of ten, Jane was standing on prostheses. But before that, she had to undergo three complex operations. Later, on her “legs”, she studied at a boarding school, and later entered the pedagogical institute and graduated with a diploma. To be honest, I never thought that a woman could be so strong ... But Jane turned out to be this way. She worked at school. Children loved her very much. Smart, sweet, educated ... She was thirty years old, and she never had a man.
For several months I walked under hypnosis. The first time I kissed her - she was in tears: “I was sure that I would never find love. And then suddenly you ...” I persuaded her to trust me! Our first time happened at my place. We drank champagne, Jane got relaxed. At that moment, the desire was awakened in me. I did not think: what will happen next? How will it be? She asked: “Turn away!” And when I turned around again, I was shocked: she was in bed, and the “legs” were separate, they were leaning against the wall. She wrapped herself in a blanket, her eyes were filled with love and tenderness, she was waiting. I squeezed her in my arms, we embraced. I forgot that she had no legs, forgot that she was disabled, forgot about everything.
When I offered her to make it official, she refused. She said: I do not want you to feel sorry for me. And I wasn’t sorry – yet I had to prove it to her for an entire year. We made it official, and during the winter Jane became pregnant. When we came to the antenatal clinic, almost half of the doctors gathered around: “Aren't you afraid to give birth?” But my beloved wasn’t afraid and gave birth to a girl.
We lived well. All the decisions in the family were made together. But I always felt like the head of the family. Only with Jane did I seem to understand what true love is. She always, somehow, very subtly, knew how to find the right words. Together we lived for 15 happy years. And then Jane became ill, she was diagnosed with cancer. She held on to her life with all of her might. I quitted my job, stayed at home to be with her ... But the treatment did not help. And for me, the dark days began. I would come home - but Jane was not there. I started to drink heavily, I felt terrible, I had lost the dearest person to me, I was devastated.
Time has passed, nothing changed - even today, I would have recognized my beloved Jane out of thousands of women... just by smell. She always had a special one: the prostheses were made of leather. The smell of this leather would mix with her perfume - and it made me smile every time I smelled that scent. There is no other woman like her. Should I be looking for a disabled woman? Perhaps the fact is that I feel insecure with an ordinary healthy woman and only a woman with a physical disability is able to love like it’s the last time.
With Jane, he felt the experience of true love, genuine relationships, which is why it is so difficult for him to find a replacement for her,” says existential psychotherapist Jessica Brown. The second relationship will always be in the shadow of the first. And the point is not that Jane had no legs, but the way she treated life — how boldly, steadfastly, without anger she accepted her disability. He was rather shaken not by her disability, but by her resilience.
Those of us who were loved know how to love other people. As a result, it is easier for them to find a partner. You just have to look for someone, without lowering the bar, that's all. Do not rush: if people have lived together for 15 years, then for at least 15 months you must refrain from new relationships. And to understand who they are looking for - a person for a trial relationship (as often happens on the Internet) or a person with great inner strength. Disability is not the point here. It can be safely assumed that among healthy people there are those who have the same attitude towards life.
Does a Disabled Woman Need Intimacy?
When we talk about people who can walk and the reason for their disability is not due to spinal injuries, we must remember that they most often refuse sex precisely because of internal pressure and public prejudices. Physiologically, they can experience arousal, be lubricated, and have an orgasm if they do not take chemo or hormone therapy. If a woman is confined to a wheelchair, the external signs of arousal, of course, disappear: the moisture of the vagina decreases or is completely absent, but this does not mean that the woman is not able to experience the pleasure of sex.
The prejudice did not develop from scratch, but because of the stereotype that sex is necessarily about penetration. And if the genitals of one of the participants of the process don’t function well, then intimacy is impossible. It should be remembered that the erogenous zones of a woman are not limited only to the vulva and the adjacent zones, which means that she will receive pleasure not only from classical penetration. Women with disabilities can get pleasure even if they are paralyzed from the waist down with the help of para-orgasms. They differ from the classical ones in intensity, but at the same time also bring pleasure. Finally, people with disabilities also need desacralization and destigmatization. The presence of not pronounced physical activity does not yet indicate that the rights of this person need to be hushed up and that their existence in public life is taboo.
Online Dating for Disabled: Tips and Advice
Finding love for a disabled person is not difficult - nowadays there are lots of beautiful guys and girls of any age. It is not difficult to fall in love with a disabled person - you cannot tell your heart what to do and whom to choose. I personally know a lot of couples that met via free dating sites for disabled, on which people with disabilities and pathologies of varying complexity have created happy families with healthy physically partners; these include wheelchair users too. The problem is different:
Admit to yourself honestly that when you are looking for love, you want the continuation and development of this love into a relationship - family, children, etc. Not everyone wants to get into such things and long-term commitments. Yet you have to keep looking and never give up, there are always people who will treat you for who you are, no matter how you look. Such people are more valuable, since if they accept and love you as you are, then they are, by their nature, good and kind people.
Yet, there are certain unpleasant aspects to it: the more complicated your disease is, the more it manifests itself and is noticeable in the physical aspect of it. This, unfortunately, is an indication that you can be ill-received by a loved one’s family. Or not to be accepted at all, under the wording: "For a partner and a future family, one must choose a healthy person."
And then your partner will have to choose between the interests of you and your family. You have to keep faith in yourself. Dating for disabled singles may be tough, especially if you approach it by considering yourself to be a burden, that is wrong! It may hurt, you can get depressed. I would advise you to visit friend parties, where there are many people, many new potential acquaintances to be made. Since, in this way, when you are communicating in real life, the person gets to know you fully, with no surprises. If you go for online dating, to not show your photo and get your partner aware of your disability seems wrong. By doing so, you may decrease your chances of finding a good person. So, to come as you are, with your heart and soul to be seen, is the best way to do it. Whether it’s dating a disabled girl or dating a disabled man, there will always be people who will not care about how you look and will love you for who you truly are.
If you choose online dating while disabled, then it may get complicated. Online dating for disabled depends on your disability. If it is unnoticeable, something minor or along those lines, do not be afraid, use common dating services, Tinder, Mamba, all that. Yet, when it comes to severe disabilities, you may have to turn to special dating sites for disabled singles. These dating sites for disabled people provide many opportunities for them, and are designed will all possible special needs in mind.
I am sorry if I have offended anyone by this article, maybe I was too harsh or too direct in some way. Anyway, I am trying to help all the people in need by giving the most rational and realistic tips and advice on dating for disabled.
Best Disabled Dating Sites
While all the well-famous websites of “regular” dating will do, there are some that have been made specifically for disabled singles dating. The following are the services of disabled dating for free:
dating4disabled.com/
disableddatingclub.com/
chat-handicape.fr/en/
disabled.dating/
disabilitymatch.co.uk/
specialbridge.com/
hfriends.com/
whispers4u.com/
dating4disabled.com/
disabledpassions.com/
match.com/free
myspecialmatch.com/
meetdisabledsingles.com/
disabilitydating.com/
nolongerlonely.com/
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