How to Understand You Need to Get the Power Back in a Relationship

Content:

1. Power in a relationship – why do both partners need this
2. The abuse of power in relationships
3. Why do you lose power in a relationship?
4. Signs you're losing power in a relationship
5. How to take back your power in a relationship

One of the key elements of a healthy relationship is having power in a relationship, but sometimes it’s not easy to see if your partner really gives you that power. It can be difficult for people to determine the boundaries of power in a relationship, especially because everyone has their own definition of what power is.

Today we will talk about power in relationships, we will find out how to get the power back in a relationship, how to take control in a relationship, answer the question, "What is power in a relationship?", the results of abuse of power and control in relationships, and everything that has to do with this issue.

Power in a Relationship – Why Do Both Partners Need This

So, the meaning of power in a romantic relationship is rather complex, what is it? I believe that it’s about equality in a relationship.

It’s about there being equal rights in a relationship, no one is treated as if they are lesser in any way, both partners are on equal terms, and a relationship cannot be called a “one-sided” one.

It is when you two have the power to fulfill your desires, when you have the ability to do what you want and when you want, and your relationship is the foundation that makes you better off. When you have the power in relationships, your relationship is an equal exchange, you gain emotional benefit from it. If you've found yourself in a relationship in which you have no power, then use one of the thousands of hot women dating sites you can find on the Internet and meet someone else. If not, if you want to work on your relationship, then you have quite a lot of topics to discuss with a girl in order to fix your relationship.

The Abuse of Power in Relationships

Before we figure out how to regain control in a relationship, let’s talk about the abuse of power in relationships. In our society, there is a certain opinion that a relationship in which one of the partners is a leader and the other basks in their rays and fulfills their whims is a desirable option for many couples. Especially in cases when a leader is a man who provides for his woman. It is believed that if a man is sufficiently financially secure, then he has the right to receive and demand from the woman whatever he wants. In turn, his partner, considering herself the center of the universe, requires him to worship her beauty and satisfy her growing needs.

So yesterday's passionate lovers are dragged out from the flow of love into the pool of power struggle. They are drawn into this insidious whirlpool deeper and deeper, from which it is increasingly difficult for them to get out. Many prominent psychologists believe that the desire for power is deeply rooted in human nature.

Power, possessive instinct, desire to control a partner, there are few lucky people who have not encountered this in their relationships. In fact, these are destroyers and powerful obstacles in front of happiness in a loving relationship.

In personal relationships, especially in those when a family has already been created, and there are children, the struggle for power leads to numerous and serious conflicts.

We really want to have a ring of "omnipotence." We want everything to be our way, clinging to our limited knowledge of the world, entering a crushing battle for power, and the ability to control a partner. Which actually gives us only the illusion of control.

The desire and temptation of power keep us in the grip of our own disillusion, giving us the illusion of a safe and comfortable life that our partner would provide. This is the power of the external material world, with its willingness to sell the soul for material comfort and safety.

Such easy recipes for success in a relationship subsequently turn into severe mental trauma, and in especially advanced cases, even into physical trauma. As a rule, material security and safety disappear like a haze, turning into a material addiction. Illusions crumble down upon us.

A partner who seeks power holds their partner as a victim, they suck out their partner’s beauty, strength, and love. Obsessed with possessive passions, they seek to make their victim infantile, weak, and dependent. It is as if they cast a conjuring spell on their victim, their creative abilities, and self-actualization sophisticatedly using their unpredictability, which previously seemed so attractive. Playing on the fears of their partner, the partner who wants power is acting like a demon, pushing their victim and forcing them to surrender. They promise to fulfill the things they want – wellbeing and security. But, as soon as the victim succumbs to their tricks and surrenders, a person becomes their property. They begin to feed on their blood and live absorbing their vital energy. The love poison of their bite, like the bite of a vampire, makes their victim dependent on their false promises.

The pernicious tendency to give oneself to a partner is a trap. The desire to justify our actions with love and devotion leads to a dead-end. And deep down we realize that such behavior will lead to death and self-destruction, but we hope that this will all resolve just like that, by itself.

Women enter into such a relationship because of fear of being alone. Others have learned to manipulate the feelings of other people for the sake of sex, which allows them to have power over their partners, which, in turn, allows them to improve their financial wellbeing and social status. But, such relationships always imply the sacrifice of oneself as an individual.

We must understand that the insatiable demands of omnipotence in relationships, the inability to give up power requirements, the non-recognition of one’s guilt, and choice is the destructive power of relationships. In such relationships, it is as if a very important part of our soul is falling asleep, which has become indifferent to values, not seeing the possibility of transformation. Thus, a person becomes incapable, cut off from full-fledged love relationships, filled with care, and the warmth of cosmic bliss.

The material world is valuable, it is difficult to imagine the satisfaction and building harmonious relationships without it, but it should not be a top priority in interpersonal relationships. This is just a natural way to satisfy our natural needs. Our love should be transformed during the development of relationships from a selfish possessive feeling into true love.

Why Do You Lose Power in a Relationship?

If you want to know how to regain power in a relationship you gotta know how to not lose it. Having power in a relationship is about keeping distance and respecting the personal space of your partner.

Respect is manifested in the willingness and ability to observe the boundaries of the territories between two people. Allow your loved one to be different. Give the opportunity to have everything of your own - your opinion, your things, your money, your personal time, your space in the apartment, your habits.

True respect is not a neutral position. Respect in the family is a unity of love and respect, and although these concepts are very different, they complement each other. Love without respect turns into an uncontrollable feeling that deprives of freedom, and sometimes can be dangerous because there are no boundaries at all. Respect is deprived of the soul without love and becomes a dry observance of the rules, a formality. “Love without respect is short-lived and unstable, respect without love is cold and weak,” Johnson B.

It is necessary not only to respect the person but also to make this respect “warm,” to respect them as a part of your life, emphasizing their importance in your life.

And then respect becomes a recognition, “You are important to me, you are valuable to me” and then respect will be expressed in a thousand everyday things, you will begin to pay attention as you open the door to a loved one, how you say goodbye to them, how you listen or look at a person. Respect in the family is not banal politeness, it is manifested in attitude, kind words, attention, and signs of gratitude.

Signs You're Losing Power in a Relationship

Respect is something that cannot be measured, which is why it is so hard to research. But psychologists have managed to create a definition of respect by including the following moments:

• Love
• Care
• Understanding
• Honesty
• Fidelity
• Willingness to listen
• Lack of insults
• Attention

Most of the subjects in the study adhered to this concept of respect, and they agreed that the following 5 things are a definite sign that your partner does not respect you.

1. Your partner constantly tells you what's wrong with you

Most people are aware of their own shortcomings, so there is no need to constantly indicate them. It’s very difficult for some to accept themselves with all their flaws, so such reminders are not very useful. If your partner does this to you, this is a clear sign of a lack of respect. You need to openly tell them how it makes you feel, and state that you know about your imperfection.

2. Your partner doesn’t listen to you

Having respect can also be recognized through your partner’s ability to listen carefully to what you are saying. Communication spoils if one of the interlocutors constantly interrupts the other or behaves remotely. A very important part of a healthy conversation is also the partner’s answers because they show their full involvement in a communication.

3. Your partner always does their own thing

Staying in a healthy relationship means having the same and equal rights. No one should always be right or always do things their own way. One of the keys to a respectful relationship is the ability to compromise. If your partner insists on full control over your relationship, this means that they do not respect you enough to take into account your opinions and needs. Tell them what is bothering you and try to indicate that you are not going to accept this behavior.

4. Your partner does not respect your friends and relatives

Let's face it, your partner will never love your friends and relatives as much as you. However, this does not mean that they should treat you without respect. In the event of future engagement, this could be an even more serious problem. A good relationship with friends and relatives of your partner is very important if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.

5. Your partner is constantly aggressive towards you

Harming others, especially intentionally, is a red flag that your partner does not respect you. Attacks, physical or verbal, show someone how little your partner cares about your or other people's feelings. They should know that everyone is responsible for their own words and actions, and they should be aware of the consequences of such behavior.

And now let’s find out how to take back your power in a relationship.

How to Take Back Your Power in a Relationship

How to gain power in a relationship with your woman? If you are in a fairly long-term relationship and begin to feel that you are losing control over it, this can be terrible for you. It is easy to find yourself in a position when you feel that your partner dominates in all aspects of your relationship. Most often, this situation arises because you allowed them to do this from the very beginning, followed any of their whims, and allowed them to make decisions for you. The worst part is that it’s easy to start losing your own life goals and guidelines, understanding who you are, and what treatment you are entitled to. How to regain control of your relationship?

How to be in control in a relationship? The first step to correcting this situation and returning your relationship to a healthy footing is to admit to yourself that you were wrong in something. While your partner may be the controlling party, you must understand that once you set a precedent, you allowed them to dominate you all the time. Many women do this so as not to displease the new potential partner.

How to get your power back in a relationship? You think that if you start to agree with them all the time, then they will like you more. In a real healthy relationship, things are different. You need to recognize that in the future, you will have to fight for yourself, be an independent person, and make some decisions. You should acknowledge your shortcomings in this part before you can make any changes in your relationship.

Once you have come to understand that you need to be stronger when dealing with your partner, you should begin to exercise this power in a relationship. You do not need to get hysterical immediately, as soon as you cannot insist on your own. You simply express your desires and needs to your partner, and see how they react to it. Defend your desires and your choice. Whether it will be something as simple as choosing a lunch in a restaurant, or as serious as in which area you will live with them, you must be sure that they know that you have your own opinion and that they respect this opinion.

How to take control of a relationship? All healthy relationships include a compromise between what you give and what you get. Defending yourself does not mean that each time you will receive what you want; it would be only a “change of power.” This means that your partner must respect your opinions and desires and treat them with understanding. If they are not ready to work with you on these problems, they may not be the partner you need. You deserve the love and respect of a partner who is able to recognize and consider your needs.

Now you know how to take control of your relationship. So, what if you've got stuck in a relationship in which you have no power whatsoever? The only way to cope in such relationships is to say “no” to yourself and your partner, “no” to the temptation to rule, these are attempts of self-affirmation, self-development, and self-actualization.