Content:
- What Is Considered Moving Too Fast in a Relationship?
- Is It Bad to Move Too Fast in a Relationship?
- Main Signs Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
- Things to Always Slow Down in a Relationship
- Main Dangers of Rushing a Relationship
A few months ago, you met someone, you were texting for some time, and, as you think, you fell in love. It is serious, and it won’t go away for a long time, and now you have a constant beaming smile on your face and a provocative spark in your eyes. But, in this case, it is important to figure out whether or not your relationship is moving too fast. Let’s first figure out what is considered to be a relationship moving too fast.
What Is Considered Moving Too Fast in a Relationship?
That person is so good, amazing, and smart that you are ready to get engaged with them here and now. The level of emotional and physical attraction is extremely high. But they probably don’t even know about your sympathy in the first place. Yet the third month of your acquaintance is coming. Do they not feel the same strong feelings for you? You think about that more often, and sometimes you are getting anxious with indignation. You have already come up with a name for your unborn child, who will be born, of course, from this person, and they do not even hint at the possibility of a future wedding? But this is by no means a reason to believe that your partner has frivolous intentions. Think better about how well they treat you and whether they appreciate your relationship. After all, the desire to create a family does not mean that a person is in love. And, on the contrary, they are interested in how your day went, share their problems with you and talk about your achievements. Do you know their friends? They didn’t hesitate to agree to help you take your elderly grandmother to the hospital and sincerely love your cat?
Congratulations, you become a part of their life, as they’ve let you into their world. And, apparently, they really like your presence in this world. They like to be a part of your life and rejoice and worry with you, they are glad to provide assistance when necessary. Everything goes on as usual. But maybe something is wrong in your relationship? Yes, you are not deprived of attention, they call you almost every day, but only to arrange a new meeting. And a new date is always reminiscent of the previous one - a movie or a nightclub, hugs, and kisses, passionate sex at your place. Meanwhile, you don’t even know where they live, you really can’t imagine what they are doing, what they are fond of, what kind of relationship they have with their parents. You almost never spend holidays together – they have their own company, and they have never offered you to join it.
But a few months have passed since the beginning of your relationship. Perhaps, in this case, it is worth taking the initiative. Offer to arrange a date at their place, invite them to dinner with your parents, take an interest in the opportunity to organize a joint party with your friends. Surely the ice will melt away, perhaps they never thought that it was important for you, and if they were in love, they would gladly let you into their life. If your attempts to get closer do not lead to success, and the idea of being close for them will still mean only high-quality sex, most likely this partner is not the person you are looking for. So now it’s up to you to decide whether to continue such a relationship or to set off in search of a new love that may give you the happiness that you want.
Let’s now figure out whether moving too fast in a relationship is a bad thing.
Is It Bad to Move Too Fast in a Relationship?
My relationship is moving too fast, is it bad, is it good, what should I do about it?
When entering into a new relationship, you really want to rush headfirst, grab happiness by the throat, and get all of the love and care of a person you love. And sometimes you just want to pat a person on the cheek, touch their face, kiss them somewhere on the neck, and just enjoy each other’s tactile contact. If a beautiful single person who is interested in intimacy is in front of you, it will work. But often, besides curiosity and lust, you are met by other people's ambitions, fears, and complexes, and then it would be better for you to scratch the neck of the shark than trying to cover that person with all of your attention and love.
It may turn out that a person that you like doesn’t want any form of relationships or even sex, but only the opportunity to feel better because of your sympathy. And it will take some time to find out that the partner’s goal is not to experience something good together, but only to use you irrationally. And the word "irrationally" is the key here: people regularly use each other, but it is better when they do so for mutual joy and pleasures, and not to torment each other. One of the most painful scenarios is when a person does not crave entertainment but want only to defeat you, and this is their main pleasure. Usually, such people use several tools to do so.
The first is your own insecurities. If you feel that the interlocutor runs their fingers over your weak points – you may not get an erotic massage out of it. Perhaps they are looking for a way to cause you pain. "You are so chubby, just lovely. What is it like, being single at your age? How is it possible that you don’t have a career at this stage of your life?" Upon discovering that you are not too happy with something, they will begin to undermine your self-esteem, regularly causing you pain.
The reproaches are also excellent in causing pain to someone. They will carefully search for reasons for discontent, and they will try very hard to be offended. Here you can encounter all sorts of provocations. The easiest scheme is "let's laugh at my shortcomings." Very quickly, in the very first meetings, a person casually throws a hook - something like, "Do you mind that I have a small salary?" or something completely strange, "I have a slightly unusual smell to my skin," for example. No matter what it is about, you were surprised, shrugged, and answered that it does not bother you. A person mentions their salary once again, after all, it is so small (or say something like, "I knew that you would notice this smell"). Then they will change the subject, but in the next meetings they will return to these points in the form of a joke, "Poor men are forced to be good lovers," "I take a shower more often than others." It will sound funny enough and make you smile. If your partner ends up manipulating you, causing you pain, then don’t waste your time and energy on them, it is quite easy to find a decent website to meet women on the Internet and find someone new and better.
Only confidence, self-esteem and calmness will help - the very pillow behind your back that you have gained during your life. Past experience confirms that you are valuable enough, smart and successful to receive these simple things: respect, acceptance, care, and in short, a normal relationship. Therefore, do not rush into a new relationship in a hurry, look better who is in front of you and whether they really want you, and not use you as a simulator for their own ego.
Main Signs Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
Let’s now figure out the main signs a relationship is moving too fast, and you should slow down to make the most out of them.
1. You are arguing about everything
Is my relationship moving too fast? On the one hand, you ideally suit each other, you want to live together all your life, have children and grow old somewhere in the garden under a maple tree, but on the other hand. You hate it when they chew with their mouth open, you think this sweatshirt with these sneakers is something that a sane person would put on, and they, in turn, are furious because you do not understand mathematics, are not interested in e-sports, and your mother voted for the wrong party in the elections. And the fact is that you do not fit each other, and it is clear to everyone who has two eyes, except you.
2. Your friends are sick of your relationships
When is a relationship moving too fast? It moves too fast when your friends don’t know what to think of it, they are sick. In the sense that you tell them every day how wonderful your partner is, and they respond with something like, “Yes, you are actually crazy! No, wait, are you seriously dating?” If the situation is familiar to you, then do not rush to write down all the friends as being envious, it is likely that they are right, and in this situation, there are two advantages: a) you have caring friends, b) your relationship really develops too quickly, and they want you to notice it.
3. One of your past relationships has ended just recently
How fast is moving too fast in a relationship? When one of you has just ended a relationship. It doesn't matter whose exactly, but if less than a month has passed between past relationships and present, then most likely you are dating each other for the wrong reasons, you are falling in love fast to fill the void in your life. Some of you are just uncomfortable or don't like being alone. Try not to date anyone for some time and enjoy being alone. Believe me, not being in a relationship is not so scary.
4. You trust them for no reason
How to know if a relationship is moving too fast? Of course, trust is an important component of a relationship, but only if you know each other for some time, falling in love too fast can end up creating an illusion in your mind. You can think to yourself, “They gave me no reason to distrust them, so why should I be paranoid?” Yeah, you feel like they can do no wrong, but look at the situation from the other side: trust is what you need to earn. If they didn’t do anything to make you feel like “Yes, they are the one I need, they will always be there,” then what kind of trust can be discussed? Your current opinion of them is based on words, and such an opinion will not lead to anything good.
5. You confessed to each other in love, but still, know little about each other
What is their name, how old are they and what is their favorite hobby - this is a basic set of knowledge? Do you know what their favorite color is? What are your plans for life? What was in their past relationship? Okay, the fact that they know which party your mother voted for is a strong argument, but do not rush to consider your relationship ideal and serious if neither your mother nor his mother even knows that their children have a soulmate.
6. You lose yourself
Strong affection implies a desire to see a loved one all the time. It’s as if you can neither eat nor sleep without your partner. And all you can think about is the beloved. Of course, it affects your social life. You probably noticed that before the appearance of your beloved, you had a lot of friends, but now, your vision of the world has narrowed to one single person. Your partner is ideal for you, you feel happy with this person and want to tell the whole world about your happiness. However, you no longer meet your friends, preferring their company to an evening with your loved one. Be careful, friends do not grow on trees. And then again, who will support you in a difficult moment? After all, relationships are not only incessant romance.
In addition to the deterioration of your social life, fast development of a relationship may provoke indifference to own hobbies and interests. It happens that people are so impassioned about their loved ones that they forget about own life and things that make them happy. Ask yourself “When I did what I really love for the last time?” If you cannot even remember when you were busy with your hobby, it is already a reason to think that your relationship is moving too fast.
Things to Always Slow Down in a Relationship
Now that you know the signs that your relationship is moving too fast, let’s figure out some things that should not be rushed and should be taken slowly in a relationship.
Saying 'I love you'
Let’s say that your girlfriend constantly says that she loves you, but you’ve been dating for a few weeks now, how should you react? What is it all about? Well, she is moving too fast in a relationship. While these three magic words are just that, they are words, this doesn’t mean that you should throw them out at random, for no reason whatsoever. When something is repeated over and over again – it loses its meaning, it loses its value. Something is valuable when it is scarce, just like diamonds, these three magic words should not be thrown around, especially at the first stages of a relationship.
Giving a commitment
What is considered moving too fast in a relationship? It is when you commit yourself to a person you barely know. While you may feel like you will never do any wrong for the person that you love, nothing will ever cause any issues between the two of you – this is, quite likely, very much not true, but an unreasonable and rash assumption. You feel a sense of euphoria that swallowed you whole, and you commit yourself to that person, without any second-guessing.
Moving in together
Moving in together can seem harmless, but it is not, you are changing a lot of things about their life, a lot of things about your own life. You are now united under one common roof, and it’s not just about moving things in and out of their place, it is about encountering all sorts of problems a couple will eventually encounter in their joint life. These can be some mundane differences that you may have never even thought of, but they turn out to be very real, even too real.
Proposal
And now for the worst offender of them all. While sure, you can say, “I love you” and while it will hurt to realize that these were just rushed words, this is relatively harmless. Committing yourself to a partner is a serious step, but this is not a dead-end for your freedom. You can always move out of your partner’s place. But getting engaged should never ever be rushed, it is the most important decision you can possibly make in a relationship, and while you really want to do it, unite yourself with the person that you love the most in this world – you have to give this decision some time. Obviously, there are no certain rules when it comes to relationships but, I would say, that you should only do so after at least one or two years of dating, one year in the case that you seem to be perfectly fit for each other even after 12 months of joint life. And then comes the scenario in which you get rejected, and this is not something you want to ever experience.
Main Dangers of Rushing a Relationship
Here are the main dangers of moving things way too fast in a relationship.
Your expectations will be ruined
Sure, your love is strong, you have a lot of feelings in your heart and mind, and you want to share every moment of your life with that person, but if they are not as enthusiastic about you or want to take things slower – you may not end up getting what you want so much. But if they do, then you can end up feeling bad after realizing how many things have been left unsaid, all the small differences that drive you crazy, all the nuances of a joint life that you haven’t thought of.
You won't get enough experience
Relationships are not only about finding things about your partner, and it is not about adapting yourself to them, it is about finding out some things that you didn’t know about yourself as well. This is experience, you have to challenge yourself, you have to spend some time with that person and seek to figure out the things that drive you nuts about them to have more time to adapt to these things and get used to them.
Your romance will probably be based only on intimacy
The initial burning passion between the two of you is very strong, it is the reason why all the kids feel like their first love is the one, there will be no other person in their life, no love like that will ever come knocking at their door. This is, of course, very much not true, even now, when you are reading this article, and you are burning with passion, you have to realize that you will encounter a lot of different people in your life and have more relationships in your life, especially if this isn’t your first love, and you have already gone through these feelings a few times in your life.
The risk of cheating is rising
The pressure is on, you are passionate about each other, and you two are madly in love. But what does that mean in the long run? You two move things too quickly and feel a lot of strong feelings for each other, but what makes you think that your partner will never do the same to someone else? What makes you think that you are not capable of doing the same? Will the two of you be able to withstand the pressure and commitment of a relationship?
This article wasn’t meant to discourage your burning passion for someone you love. This article is aimed at making you reflect on your relationships, asking a lot of important questions that you should ask yourself to improve the quality of your relationships and not end up causing pain to yourself and the person you love.
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