How to Deal with Jealousy in a New Relationship

Content:

1. Jealousy in Relationships: a Killer or a Healer?
2. How to Deal With Jealousy in a New Relationship

Jealousy in a relationship is a common problem most couples encounter. Poets and painters dedicated much thought to the problem of jealousy in relationships. Without any doubt, jealousy is an issue that begs for solution. Jealousy may be one of the features of love but it is certainly destructive for the relationships. Jealousy is never good. Therefore, you need to know how to deal with jealousy in a relationship. Read the following guide to better understand the nature of jealousy and its effect on relationships in order to avoid certain problems that come with it.

Jealousy in Relationships: a Killer or a Healer?

So, you’re probably asking is jealousy healthy in a relationship? Relationship jealousy is a killer, certainly not a healer. And it is a dangerous killer too. You should be cautious and careful because according to statistics almost 30% of all breakups happen because of jealousy. This amazingly big number should make you think twice before being jealous or making your partner jealous.

What is Jealousy?

Jealousy in a relationship is most often an indication of the lack of trust. Relationships in which mutual trust is not established usually make partners more jealous. The problem of jealousy is directly connected to trust in relationships. If you want to know what does jealousy mean in a relationship, here’s the fact: jealousy in its nature is the absence of faith. Jealous partners do not believe that they love only each other. A partner who is jealous thinks that his/her loved one might have somebody else. It does not really matter whether only a sexual intercourse is implied or real love. As long as somebody feels jealous, he/she doesn’t believe in his/her partner. Therefore, jealousy is the lack of trust which represents uncertainty in regard to a partner.

Why Lovers Are Jealous?

Not all lovers are jealous. However, statistics show that the problem of jealousy is very widespread. More than 80% of all couples reported they were jealous of each other at some point in their relationships. This yet another amazing number may suggest that there’s no point in dealing with jealousy in a relationship because this problem is natural. However, that is not so because jealousy points out the problems in relationships that are to be solved if only a couple wants to be happy together.

There is no certain answer why so many couples are jealous of each other. One thing to keep in mind, though, is the fact that some people think that love and jealousy go hand in hand and can’t be separated. A lot of people think that love equals jealousy. Some lovers even criticize their partners if they are not jealous considering them indifferent. All in all, jealousy is a complex but common problem.

Negative Effect

Jealous people usually think they own their partner. It makes them consider their partners to be their possessions. Then, jealous people consider monogamy to be the most important pillar of love. Finally, in around 50% of cases people who are jealous can also be called paranoid. It often happens so that a partner becomes jealous of something the other partner did not do. A partner who suffers from jealousy in relationships starts to think that he does something wrong while jealous partner is, in fact, the one to blame. In other words, jealousy often depends not on facts but on assumptions. By being jealous partners become alienated because they show each other that they don’t believe one another. When this critical lack of honesty and confidence becomes obvious, partners may decide to break up instead of living in paranoia. Therefore, the answer to the question can jealousy ruin a relationship is affirmative. It can and it will unless you do something to stop it.

How to Deal With Jealousy in a New Relationship

So, you definitely need to know how to deal with relationship jealousy to save your relationships. Jealousy indicates the lack of trust and honesty. Happy relationships cannot exist without mutual honesty and partners’ faith in each other. Read the following tips on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship to save your relationship.

Getting rid of everything that does not serve your love

Think about what your endless bursts of jealousy will lead to. You are so afraid of lies, but you yourself envelop your relations with a feeling of distrust. You are so scared to lose your partner that you seek to control every move of the loved one and put the blame on your beloved for actions that were not even committed. Does this create the basis for a close, trusting, and healthy relationship? The irony of jealousy (and other feelings based on the fear) lies in the fact that because of your fear to lose a loved one, you only prompt what you are so afraid of! Paranoia and distrust make a love relationship fragile and distance you from your beloved.

The next time you get a fit of jealousy and want to yell at a loved one or check the phone of your beloved, ask yourself how these actions can help your relations? How will this strengthen your love? How can this prevent the appearance of those things (loss of a partner, break-up) that you are so afraid of? If your answer to all these questions is “No way”, then give your jealousy the red color. The first step towards getting rid of jealousy is the realization that you do not need this feeling at all and that it only bothers you.

Establishing Trust

You should always be honest with your partner. You should also demand honesty in exchange. Under no circumstances can you afford lying to your partner. Lies of any kind will sooner or later come out and hurt you both. When you lie to somebody, you deprive him/her of truth. It is almost like stealing. Certainly, you don’t become involved in serious relationships to lie to your partner and steal from him/her. Therefore, you should always be honest, so your partner could trust you.

Mutual honesty and truthfulness are among the basic foundations of personal relationships. You can’t achieve success and be happy until mutual trust is established. As it was said earlier, jealousy and trust in relationships are directly connected with each other. The only way to eliminate jealousy is to substitute it with trust. So, for example, it’s not that you can’t look at other girls but your ability to stop at looking or thinking. In other words, a jealous person would always find a reason to be jealous. Therefore, you don’t need to restrict yourself and live in fear. No, you should establish trust and behave normally. You may think about other girls but you love only one. Your aim is to prove your love and make everything in your power to make your partner trust you.

Mutual honesty is difficult because not everything depends on you alone. You may be honest and truthful. Your partner, though, may not be true to you. Or vice versa. In any case, it is a two-way street with both parties being equally involved. You can’t establish mutual trust without cooperation and partnership. Without honesty, you and your partner can’t be confident about you two being together. Without confidence and faith, you might struggle with issues that would eventually lead to a breakup.

Spending Time Together

Spending time together is among the most effective ways of overcoming jealousy in a relationship. People who are jealous think there’s something about their partner they may not know about. They start jumping to conclusions and make assumptions which eventually leads to what is known as paranoia of jealousy (the thing a guy named Othello had that killed him). Nothing makes you and your partner closer to each other than spending time together. The more time you spend together, the better, especially in the beginning of your relationship. The levels of honesty and trust in your relationship will significantly increase with you two spending more time with each other. Try some diverse interesting activities or have long walks. Always be willing to talk with your partner.

Communication

Jealousy appears when the lack of communication is present. Partners who lie to each other or become indifferent because of jealousy often find themselves being unable to communicate effectively. And relationships are all about communication. Without proper communication mutual happiness and peace in relationships are impossible to achieve. In order to communicate successfully, you should never ignore or avoid your partner. This makes your partner think that you have little interest in his/her business. Your partner’s business, however, is your business because you two are together and in love. Therefore, you should be attentive to what your partner has to say.

Understanding

Happy couples live with mutual understanding. It means being sympathetic and compassionate towards your partner. You should always be ready to provide support and express care. One of the reasons people form personal relationships is so they could have somebody to comfort them emotionally. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, think about what he/she feels. Try to understand and be ready to provide care, support, and comfort.

No Secrets

Some people think that having secrets is not lying. It is better not to have any secrets from your partner. Secrets make people suspicious. You should aim for total transparency. Let your partner check your phone if she wants to do it. It is preferable for you not to have any hidden safes or strange activities on the side. Always be ready to tell anything your partner may want to know about. Even having some innocent secrets may lead to suspicion which could lead to paranoia and, eventually, to jealousy. Therefore, always be absolutely honest with your partner.

Future

Jealousy undermines peace, stability, and comfort in relationships. Instead of working together and moving ahead, couples with jealous partners are obsessed with the problem of jealousy. It disallows progress and development of any kind to appear. Anything that doesn’t progress eventually dies. Jealous people just don’t believe they are loved. Therefore, they don’t love seeing as how they want an equal share of everything in relationships. It means that the more jealousy there is, the less love remains. You and your partner need to look into the future. Accept each other today and be confident about your relationships. Think about the future instead of thinking about with whom your partner met yesterday and for what reasons. Future has all the answers.

Making the Right Decision

It is important for partners to have a talk about jealousy. The issue of jealousy appears normally and naturally. However, people often ignore it or just don’t notice until it’s too late. Therefore, it is advisable to sit and have a talk about jealousy. Sometimes partners are even jealous to each other’s ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. You need to define whether one of you is jealous because such is his/her character or because somebody does something he/she is not supposed to do (going out with other people). Jealousy is only harmful when it is not supported by facts. In case one of the partners cheats and lies, there’s nothing wrong about being jealous. Therefore, you and your partner should define whether your relationships are monogamous or not. Next, you need to make a decision whether to tolerate jealousy or confront it. Once again, communicating in regard to the problem might provide a solution.

All in all, it was revealed that jealousy is just not good. It is harmful to relationships because it shows critical lack of trust. Jealous people demand more than they give themselves. Jealous people also treat their partners like possessions. They want to own them which is not the right thing to do. In general, jealousy is highly negative because it disrupts peace and undermines partners’ cooperation with each other. Jealous stands against progress and development. It deprives people of confidence, comfort, and peace. To deal with it partners need to establish mutual trust, be honest with each other, spend more time together and have a talk about jealousy.