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Men constantly hear different and often not very pleasant statements about feminism from everywhere. Most of them make a sad conclusion about it; many don’t really understand what feminism is. Many are still convinced that feminists are terrible, rude women who hate men. No! They are not like that! They just want everyone to have equal rights and be able to achieve everything that they want. And you should read this article to make it clearer for yourself.
Why feminism is such a popular topic nowadays?
The history of feminism has shown that women were disenfranchised until the 18th century. They were considered second-class people. Representatives of the weaker sex were not allowed to make any decisions, even concerning their own lives. Literally, all the issues were solved by parents and then this right passed to a girl’s husband.
- A woman also couldn’t choose her future husband. He was chosen by her parents. Of course, love was out of the question. Sometimes, a girl didn’t even see her future husband before a wedding.
- A woman couldn’t decide how to raise her children.
- According to the history of feminism, a woman even didn’t have the right to get an education.
- Women had no right to have their property, although they ran the farm, raised children, worked in the field, and fed their husbands and children.
- Despite the fact that women worked hard, they couldn’t spend money on their own. They had to ask their husbands for any little thing and account for every penny.
- Of course, a woman didn’t have the right to vote.
In general, men have created a comfortable life for themselves and felt well.
American women were the first who began to fight with it
This happened in the early 18th century. Americans didn’t want to endure this state of affairs and began to fight for their rights. They said: “Why should we live according to the laws established only by men? We want to participate in the life of the state and carry out the necessary laws through our candidates!” Such women began to call themselves feminists. That is how the feminist movement was born. Feminists fought hard, demanded and, after all, won equal rights for women. So, life went differently.
So, what is a feminist? First of all, it is an independent woman. Independence is the main advantage of a woman professing feminism and that is why feminism is good. These women necessarily work and try to provide for themselves completely. For example, they don’t expect that someone will buy a car for them – they can buy it and many other things by themselves. Even after the birth of a child, such a woman doesn’t get stuck at home for long because she is afraid of losing her qualification and can’t live off her husband.
It is also important that a feminist woman thinks differently from an ordinary one: she doesn’t think that someone is obliged to provide for her, that she can be only a woman, and do nothing after finding a man. She relies primarily on herself and only then on her man. By the way, such a woman is grateful even for trifles because she doesn’t initially take them for granted. All this removes a huge share of responsibility from the male shoulders in a relationship and isn’t it a relief for any man in the current difficult economic conditions?
There are 5 types of feminism:
- Liberal feminism - The main goal of liberal feminists and their allies is to integrate women into the structure of the modern mainstream society. Liberal feminism takes its root from the American Revolution. To be more precise, from the social contract theory that was instituted by the American Revolution;
- Radical feminism - Radical feminism was over the top in the late 60s and early 70s because it was the cutting edge of the whole feminist theory. Today, only a very small percent of the population supports it. However, it affected other branches and types of feminism;
- Marxist feminism - According to Marxism, women are oppressed not by men, but by the whole capitalist system. They also believe that private property has an influence on oppression. Therefore, they think that to end the oppression of women, they need to overthrow the capitalist system;
- Psychoanalytic feminism - The main idea behind psychoanalytic feminism is an oppression theory that claims that men have an inherent psychological need to suppress women. They believe that the root of this is deeply encrypted in the human psyche;
- Postmodern feminism - The main goal of supporters of postmodern feminism is to destabilize so-called patriarchal norms that currently exist in our society and have caused gender inequality;
So, what is feminism? This term is generally used to define the movement for giving women the same rights that men have: choice, career growth and so on.
Dating a feminist? Here's a guide to it
One day you may find out that your lovely girl adheres to feminist views. It is okay, of course, if you are not a sexist – that is you don’t think that women are worse than men. Our tips will help you avoid stupid mistakes when dating a feminist.
How to date a feminist:
1. Dating a feminist, immediately forget all the stereotypes about feminism and the defenders of women’s rights that you have heard You shouldn’t even remember them. Just throw them out of your head. Ideas about equal rights and duties for men and women are held by people of any appearance, age, sex, political, religious, and any other views. Beauty and personal care are also unrelated to feminism.
2. Learn more about feminism. If you still communicate with a woman on a feminist dating site, then the easiest way is to ask a girl questions that worry you. But do it without raids, ridicule, and demonstrative skepticism. The basic idea of feminism is that no one should oppress anyone; everyone should live as they like and not in accordance with imposed roles. This is the basis of the basics and if you are in agreement, then you can discuss it and details.
3. Don’t try to be the head in your relationship. There shouldn’t be the head in feminist dating at all. You are equal. This is the whole idea. You can do whatever you want and your girlfriend can behave the same. And if someone doesn’t like something, then you have to talk about it without using your gender, earnings or power as arguments.
4. Don’t limit yourself in sex. And what can you do in sex? They say that the missionary position humiliates women! Only violence and compulsion (this is also violence) are unacceptable in sex. Everything else is negotiated. A woman owes you nothing. You can do everything that gives pleasure to both of you. Sexual preferences, as you know, don’t depend on gender, age, and beliefs as well. And yes, feminists are women, so many of them like a missionary position. It depends on a woman’s preferences, not on her attitude to life.
5. You have to take care of her. When you date a feminist, you can take care of what you think is necessary: a cinema, flowers, a white horse, etc. But the difference is that if a feminist girl feels uncomfortable, then she will say this directly or offer more suitable options. Don’t insist on your own. Your right is to offer, the right of a girl is to refuse.
6. Don’t behave like she is a man. You will no longer have to listen to phrases like “a real man should”, talk about male responsibilities and other sexist attacks. But the neglecting of gender roles doesn’t mean that sex differences are not taken into account. Feminist women like real gentlemen and gallant guys with good manners as well as all ordinary girls do. They will gladly receive flowers from you, appreciate good gestures, courtship, and your determination.
7. Don’t force her to do what you want. Feminists greatly value their independence and personal space. They are also understanding of the independence of their partner. Even if you have a serious relationship and joint plans for the future, this doesn’t mean that you are tied forever. Everyone can have their own circle of friends, their acquaintances, and their own interests. Everyone can spend time with their friends, make new acquaintances, and visit interesting places. There is nothing wrong with the fact that partners prefer to rest from each other. The permitted limits of such rest are determined by a couple at their discretion.
A feminist woman understands the need of a man to spend time outside the home, to have interests and little pleasures. And she understands this precisely because she experiences the same thing. Therefore, it is logical that a feminist woman is ten times less jealous and doesn’t tend to control her husband or boyfriend: it's hard for her to call a lover every five minutes or to demand his undivided attention when he has a lot of work, meeting with friends and other business. Moreover, it is much easier not only to build a love relationship with such girl but also to be friends: go rafting together, play tennis and paintball instead of following the classic scenario in which a man drinks beer with friends and a woman sits at home and is mad at him.
8. Don’t keep silent. These women never tolerate if they don’t like something. They directly tell their partners about things that worry them. Feminists start such conversations not in order to scandalize or let out negative emotions. Rather, on the contrary, to quickly build mutual understanding and reach a compromise. This is not always easy, but, on the other hand, it is better to discuss all the differences at once than to let them go. Therefore, dating feminist, you don’t have to think out what is really going on in her head and why the mood of a loved one changes so quickly. It’s enough just to ask her to give an exhaustive and truthful answer.
9. Take care of her because she takes care of you. Women’s magazines and psychologists like to give advice on the topic that a woman should support a man in order to build strong relationships, sympathize with his problems at work and generally be able to listen. It is excellent advice, of course. But a feminist absolutely doesn’t need it. She works and has ambitions. So she faces the same problems. That is why she supports her man out of pure empathy and a clear understanding of what exactly happens to him and what he feels. She supports, advises, delves into the essence of the matter and, perhaps, even helps most directly.
10. Don’t complicate your relationship. A feminist doesn’t simply require wedding vows from everyone. She even doesn’t hurry to bind herself with a man by something serious and responsible because her thoughts of love differ from other women. Moreover, it’s much easier to break up with such a woman: she will not torture a man after a breakup. Besides, she can take care of herself after a breakup.
The main thing in feminist dating is that no one should do anything for anyone simply because “a man should do one thing and a woman another one”. All decisions should be taken together. It is very good when you two have equal rights and duties. It's unlikely that you can’t vacuum your apartment for ideological reasons. Agree that this is stupid.
Sum up
The modern world is much more diverse than the traditional one. We are lucky to live in the era of change. It's time to make the world a little better both for women and for men. Therefore, here’s what: dear men, feminists are not your enemies. They are your best friends. These are people who are against violence and inequality and not against men. These are people who will ridicule your problems and demand unattainable perfection from you. You will definitely have a normal happy life with these women.
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