How to Stop Over Analyzing Your Relationship

Content:

1. How to Stop Over Analyzing
2. Over Analyzing in Relationships
3. How to Cope with Anxiety When You Start Over Analyzing
4. Other Ways to Combat Over Analyzing

The habit of over thinking over analyzing a relationship without the slightest reason is a common thing, which should be dealt with. Over analyzing anxiety brings pain to both partners, even when only one is suffering from it. None of us know how to predict the future, and that's why some are attracted, and others are frightened by it, especially when there is not enough information about it. And it is at such moments of uncertainty that we begin to unreasonably assume the worst: it seems that the conflict with the authorities will necessarily end with the dismissal, and the husband who did not call on time, perhaps, is cheating this very moment. How to stop over analyzing everything and winding yourself is the key topic of our discussion today.

Our consciousness is arranged in such a way that, in the conditions of lack of information, many people begin to complete the reality instead of searching for it, and, as a rule, in gloomy colors. Why is this happening? It's all about heightened sensitivity, resentment and fears of various kinds, which are the causes of self-intimidation.

How to Stop Over Analyzing

Psychologists often advise sensitive people not to take everything to heart. This is at the heart of how to stop over analyzing everything. Sensitive people perceive any word thrown in towards them as an attempt on their integrity as anger, mockery and manipulation. Tenderness helps people to rise above others. With their heightened sensitivity, they seem to oppose themselves to the environment, even when it comes to over analyzing conversations, just simple conversations: "I'm so good, how could they say such a thing? I was offended! "From all this we see the problem - a person has a fragile, non-integral psyche, backed by protective egoism.

For example, an adult at a wedding was not allowed to sing a song, it was hinted that he has no proper voice to do so. He was offended: "They do not appreciate me, my musical abilities are not appreciated, I'm generally worthless." Or a programmer of an old age was told that his program does not work well. He was offended: "They hinted that I was not fit for anything! They want me to retire! "

What is the main key of how to stop overanalyzing? Firstly, it should be understood that the problem is not in others who either said or did something, but the problem is in ourselves, in our self-esteem, in our reaction to the situation. Instead of improving (in the cases described above - to develop musical abilities, to eliminate programming mistakes), a man takes offense at the whole world and gets depressed. Laziness is convenient, but it does not lead to anything good. Therefore, it is very important to increase self-esteem, to form your personal integrity and then you will not be afraid of any critics.

Secondly, it is necessary to learn to forgive others who cause pain. Not all people are polite, but this does not mean that we must suffer from every failure. It's time to take care of yourself, and not torment yourself by over analyzing everything. This is helped by the “installation” of "healthy egotism" - do not pay attention to the negatives, and try to benefit from unpleasant situations. We were approached for being late - we learn not to be late, we’ve got shouted at on public transport - we praise ourselves for moral stability and for not being like that guy.

Thirdly, it is necessary to stop demonstrating to everyone your weakness, namely, to stop thinking that others want to constantly offend you. This behavior is typical for children whose psyche is not yet established, but we are adults who should stop complaining about the world and take care of themselves.

Try to learn how to control your subconscious, which likes to frighten us. Give yourself a positive attitude - "Everything will be fine", "We will win!", And not vice versa. As you know, life is very short to waste it on grievances, self-intimidation and depression. Try to learn how to enjoy life, perceiving everything as a game.

Fears of different origins

Fears of different origins lead to over analyzing and self-winding. Among them - the fear of being alone, the fear of being deceived, the fear of being without means of livelihood, the fear of contracting an incurable disease. Fears can be different, for example, when a person has recently got into a similar situation, and they can be forgotten if in the past there was a psycho-traumatic situation and the mind deliberately forgot it.

Torturing yourself because of fear arises when there is no solution to the problem situation before us, and there are only emotions. Sometimes this emotion is so strong that it breaks into the mind in the form of obsessive thoughts. We understand that something is wrong with us, but we cannot help it. All this restricts the person, forces him/her to perform strange actions, leading to conflicts, aggravating the situation and self-reproach.

Over Analyzing in Relationships

It is important to work on yourself, since, as we’ve said, your habit of torturing yourself is hurting you and your partner, so, how to stop over analyzing relationships? First of all, it is necessary to analyze in what situations obsessive thoughts arise. Are these situations similar or not?

If the winding occurs in completely different situations and it is difficult to understand its cause - "I'm afraid to go out for some reason", "I'm afraid to start a new business for some reason", "I cannot talk when everyone is smiling" - your fears are unconscious, are entangled and hidden away in the subconscious. Therefore, before you understand obsessive thoughts, you need to realize your real fear. And this can only be done with the help of a specialist.

By the way, many of our unconscious fears come from childhood. For example, parents constantly told the child: "Oh, you clumsy oaf!” Everything falls out of your hands – you cannot do anything. " As a result, the adoption of "I do not know anything" to the psyche is being done and the person is afraid of new things, new ideas, new work.

If the situations are similar, and you (approximately or exactly) understand the reason for working yourself up, your fear is realized and you can work with it yourself.

Over analyzing relationships is perhaps the most common type of over analyzing things, it is painful for a person experiencing it and for a person who has to deal with a partner who is constantly afraid and nervous.

For example, if a panic occurs when a husband lingers at work for too long or if bad thoughts come to your head when your child is not answering his phone or when the girl is afraid of a new relationship, since she was dumped by all of her previous boyfriends.

In such cases, it is necessary to work on this fear. We found out that the fear comes from the obsessive thoughts, so now you should stop the obsessive obsessions with an effort of will and analyze the situation. How to stop over analyzing your relationship? You have to work on it, to hear healthy criticism and to see yourself from a different perspective.

We will now analyze the situation: "The husband lingers at work for too long". We ask ourselves: How do I feel? Is he cheating on me? Will he dump me? Further, we admit to ourselves that the fear of betrayal, the fear of loneliness and other fears are natural for a person. Then we ask ourselves the question: "What can I really do to improve the situation?" And we then answer it. For example, you can call, say about your worries, ask when he will come home. Or to find out if he needs help. After this, two scenarios are possible.

First option: you called, the husband replied that he will be at home in an hour. You calmed down and did some housework. It is advisable to choose such a work so that it captures you to the maximum. For example, do the dishes, dust the furniture, etc. Later, in a quiet environment, together with your husband, discuss how you are feeling when he is late at work and ask to take the time to warn you about it. Just do not say that all your former young people dumped you and that he, too, wants to do so as well. Leave your fantasies and do not reproach your man. Better say that you are very sensitive and that he is very dear to you, so you are worried.

The second option: you called, but he did not answer. Do not rush to call his friends and colleagues. It is possible that your husband's phone ran out of battery charge, and maybe a work meeting really dragged on. If you still did not get through, and it's already dark outside and you want to go in search of the missing husband, stop and decide whether it can be dangerous for you personally? Isn’t it better to wait for him at home? In the meantime, how do you occupy yourself?

As you know, all our fears live only in our heads. And sometimes a simple soulful conversation with your partner is enough to get rid of obsessive thoughts. If a husband is attentive to you, he will certainly listen and warn about possible delays. If the husband has something to hide, he will be nervous, leave the conversation and give other signs of lies - you will immediately feel it.

How to Cope with Anxiety When You Start Over Analyzing

In unexpected and stressful situations, the natural reaction of the psyche is anxiety. However, it prevents you from acting effectively when it is most needed, so you just immerse yourself in over-analyzing. Fortunately, there are special methods that allow you to deceive fear and take the situation under control as well as stop analyzing the situation. How to deal with the anxiety that can destroy your relationship?

Stop internal dialogue with yourself

Often the anxiety that can be on the edge of panic, is caused by the fact that you are driving yourself crazy, constantly replaying in your mind what bothers you, imagining unfavorable scenarios. As a result, the ability to soberly look at the situation is lost, and reality and fiction replace each other on an emotional level. Sometimes it may seem that you are on the verge of insanity from anxiety and over-analyzing. In this case, you should make yourself stop your inner dialogue and express on paper the reason for your anxiety in just three words. After that, ask yourself an honest question, “Is it really all that important? Is it a true reason for such strong emotions?” Having done this exercise, you will realize that the situation is by no means stalemate, and it is just about tricks of your imagination.

Change the focus of attention

If you need to survive something unpleasant in a short period, you should change the focus of your attention. Look at a piece of furniture and examine it as long as possible, for example, count the number of flowers on the wallpaper. In other words, do any distracting tricks in your mind, even if they seem silly and pointless to you.

Other Ways to Combat Over Analyzing

Here are some additional insights on how to stop overanalyzing.

It is important to play the situation in a positive way. For example, if the director has scolded him, we'll cheer him up. Remember that you are something completely different. You can calm down more quickly. What will help you do this faster? Forgive yourself your mistakes, listen to your favorite music, meet for a friendly conversation with your colleagues. Attention switching. And preferably on what pleases the eye and soul. Look out of the window, write a letter to a friend, play with your child.

Breathing exercises. Quickly inhale and slowly exhale. Repeat ten times. Short breaths and slow exhalations soothe the nervous system.

Relieving muscle tension. Stand tall, raise your hands, stretch up. Count to ten. Then sharply lean, lower your arms like strings, relax them. Repeat several times.

Proper nutrition and way of life. Reducing the consumption of alcohol, caffeine, sugar, proper sleeping schedule and walking outside reduce the possibility of panic and obsessive thoughts. A vitamin diet (lean meat, fish, eggs, fruits, and vegetables) strengthens the nervous system.